金手仔 Finger Pointer

ME: Who mess up the place?
JS: Didi

ME: Who draw on the wall/table?
JS: Hanh Hanh

ME: Who wet the place? Why here so wet?
JS: Wei Hanh/ Didi xiao pian.

ME: Who pull all the cushions up?
JS: Hanh Hanh

ME: Who tear the book?
JS: Didi

Everything JS will claims that it is a result of mischieve of her little brother which is not quite true as most of the mess he’s not capable to have done it. Poor boy become his sister’s little scapegoat.

I Want My Song

Whenever we travel in my small kancil, my kids will not spare me a chance to use the radio. JS will request or rather insist we play her children song. I only got chance to tune in to my favourite radio channel when she’s not in the car. Lately WH also follow suit. Usually he will be quite happy to listen to radio station 988 but not now.

A few times since this week, when WH is alone in the car with me (JS in school), when I tuned to the radio station , WH will make a fuss, struggle to get out from his car seat at the front passenger seat to try to reach the player. He will point to it making the “ngg.. ngg..ngg” sound (His indication of requesting something) and follow by singing “yayayayaya”. He will only be contended if I put on the children song again. Boy oh boy..these kids are invading my space.

However, it’s rather pleasing to see the kids enjoy music. Both my kids love music and dance. In fact when JS is in the mood, she basically talks in a sing song way.

语言白痴 Language Idiot

The other day when I picked JS up from school, her Indian class teacher asked me if JS speaks any other language besides English. In the small town that we stay, basically every Chinese can speak Mandarin or any dialect. The mandarin teacher was puzzled why JS couldn’t speak any Chinese hence get the teacher to check it out from me. Oh..so malu, I can only give a lame excuse that we are baba nyonya, only speaks Malay and English. In fact I’m a Cantonese – Hokkien. I speak and write Mandarin, English and Malay. Speaks Hokkien and Contonese. A little knowledge on spoken and written Japanese. Here, my girl an language idiot just like her father.

This is not my intention to have her speaks only English. Since everyone in the family speaks English, I find it odd to speaks Mandarin to her, as if I’m going against the flow. We have planned to enrol her to a chinese primary school. Yet, my girl speak no chinese!!

My dear hubby only speaks English and Malay. When he’ s required to speak Chinese, it’s very very embarassing. In just a short sentence, it would be a rojak mixture of all the languages. He can’t differentiate Cantonese and Mandarin. I wonder how he get by all the years at TAR and not picking up the language. What an “ang moh celup”!

I’m now starting to speak Mandarin to WH. Hoping that JS will pick up a few words here and there and I have also encourage my mum to speak Mandarin to her. So far can see a little improvement as she can understand some very simple words. And she’s picking up Malay from the maid and from school.

I have my father to thank for my ability to speak a few languages. We started of speaking dialect at home. When I started schooling, my dad insist I speak English to him and Mandarin to my mum. At that time I was very reluctant to comply. Whenever I’m with my English speaking cousins, dad will insist I speak English to them instead of Hokkien. I always remember this quote from my dad: ” We should be accomondating to others, rather than have them get accomodated to us. This is the chance that we get to learn”

Little Miss Difficult 2

I was thinking over and over what really makes my girl behaved like a little demon. Dear hubby always blames me on giving her too much face. But he doesn’t realize that he gives in to her easily too. We just adores her too much but have we loves her so much until we crossed to the spoiling her border?

Not only dear hubby and me loves her every much, but my in-laws ( parents in laws , both SILs) love her dearly too. Reason being that she’s the first and only grandchild and the only niece at home. Imagine the amount of attention she’s getting since birth. My parents loves her too, as she’s also the only grandchild to them, but I don’t see much harm my parents loves has brought her, as my parents are really strict.

Thinking back, I noticed the behavioral changes in JS occurred more than 1 year ago. Is it a way that she’s protesting? Is it the way she’s telling us something? The frustration and insecurity that she’s going through? There has been so much changes for her to cope.

First, hubby got posted in S’ban. For 1 year, he stayed alone, coming back to us in PJ twice a week. JS has to get accustomed to not seeing her daddy everyday. More changes to come when she turns 2. There was the additional member to the family, our boy , which might have stolen some attention away from JS. We shifted house, JS has to get use to the new place, new environment. There was a change in our sleeping arrangement. (Use to co-sleep with her since she was 7 months old) and we also weaned her off her pacifier at the same time. Do all these really affect a young kid so much?

In certain way, JS acts in quite an adult’s way (not matured, but adult liked), these being that she’s brought up in an environment of adult’s only, not much of kids interaction. There isn’t any other kids at my in-laws. SIL#1 got no kids of her own, SIL#2 is not married. For my side, I’m the first in my generation to get married, so no cousins for my kids just yet. I have 4 cousins who are around JS’s age, but 2 of them are in Aust and another two we only met up occasionally. When JS’s was taken care by the sitter/godmum, there used to be children from the sitter’s neighbour and JS’s godbrother to play with her. But all of them are already primary school students. When I took over the task of looking after her full time when she was 18th months old, I made a habit to bring her out for evening walk at the condo compound to mix with kids around her age. JS has also joined Gymboree until I was heavily pregnant and has no more energy to accompany her. There was also 1 friend T, that I met on the net whose daughter the same age as mine. We used to meet up and let the girls play.Yet, the interaction is minimal. Now we are in S’ban, and we have this YQ girl as her friend, but they don’t often play together, as the girl is also attending school and put in day care after school, only back home late evening. I guess this somehow also shaped JS to who she is, and how she behaved.

So much so a devil she is, there are still many times that she’s sweet and adorable. And very loving too.
This one a sweet darling angel.

Little Miss Difficult

I have a little miss difficult at home. She’s strong willed, self-centered, stubborn, with good memories and bossy at time. She doesn’t take explanation and reasoning easily and has a mind of her own and wants things to be done her way and isn’t very patient. Well, that’s my little JS. JS’s mood fluctuates easily too, and she isn’t very friendly. She doesn’t seem to have a very bubbly and cheerful personalities. I wonder if these characters are in born, or somehow it has been shaped by her upbringing. Is she a spoilt brat? I can see that if she’s going on like that till her formal school day, her friends will soon think she’s stuck up and snobbish.

Things that she really makes me mad and out of mind and sometimes worried :

1) She picks her own friend.
At school, since the first day, other kids will come and make friends with her, but she will push the kids away, complaining why are the kids touching her and come near her. Depends on day, she will choose who she wants to befriend with. She doesn’t address her friends in school by name though she knew the names well. She will address them to teacher as “This one..”

JS is very good at “jeling” people too.

During music class, she refused to be-friend other kids. Claiming that she already had YQ as friend. (The girl that stays opposite our house)

2) She’s reluctant to move out of her comfort zone and accept new changes
During music class last night, there is this little palm exercise that the teacher asked the children to do. And parents are required to do this little squeezing massage over the kids body following the music (aim : to let them differentiates the tendency of different grips) and later the kids will do the same to their parents. JS just turned sour face and moody and refused to let me touch her and refused to follow the class. Reason being, that’s not the usual way I massage her. (To her, mummy’s way of massage is better, teacher’s not as good)

3) Refused to be taught and impatient. Thinking she already knows all and knows best
Again, during music class. Fingers movement on the keyboard. She just wants to simply press without paying attention to the teacher or me and won’t follow instruction or the tempo. She will listen half heartedly and wants to do her own way.

Same goes with drawing, writing, painting, helping me in kitchen, doing art and craft. She just won’t listen and follow. She will answers OK OK, I know already. But in fact she’s not even listening and she is impatient to gets a hand on herself. End up with error or mess everywhere. She can tell me “ I know already mah”. It’s also very hard to correct her mistake. When I say :”No, wrong already. It’s like ….” and JS will argue/insist she’s right:”No lah, no lah.. it’s like ….”

4) Self-centered.
Every so often, we hear her say , this is MINE. MINE. MINE. Sometimes she even tells her grandparents, aunties and maid “This is MY house, you cannot come”
Or when there is visitor visiting, she will ask “ Why THAT ONE come MY house?”

“This is MY song, you cannot sing”
“ I got MY song already, I don’t want this song”
“ I don’t want this doll lah, I got my doll already” ( Referring to the doll that my uncle bought her. When she’s in good mood, she will play with it, if not she will just chuck it away with above statement.)
“Why this car come MY road? This car cannot come MY road lah” ( We were traveling on the highway, and it’s jam, referring to cars that caused the jam
“Why this car stop at my road?” ( When we are at traffic light, car stopping beside us and blocked her view)
“ MY McD is better lah. I don’t want go teacher’s one” (School having b’day party at McD. In fact is the same McD that we frequent)

Another incident. First day for school, teacher let students play musical chair .Being first time playing the game and youngest, she was somewhat slow managing the game. Threw a big fuss, stomping legs crying. “Why I got no chair to sit!” She stayed on playing until the last chair though she never managed to sit once.

Another phrase that she loves :”This one lau yeah, cheapsake. MINE better” (she learned these words from MIL)

There are so many other things that my JS does that really makes me feel like climbing up the wall. Her screams, cries, throwing tantrums, kicking her legs all over, throwing things around when she’s mad. etc etc. None of us in the family has reacted this way, we are always courteous, but how come my little girl behave so even before she attended school?

Depends on her mood, sometimes she doesn’t even wants to greet her grandparents or aunts. When SIL called to talk to her, and when JS is not in the mood, she will refuse to hold the phone, or if she does, she will just hold and not make a single sound. She’s seems to be a rude devil without manners.

Last night we turned off the air con after she fell deep asleep, somehow she realized it and throw a big fuss in the middle of the night. Got a good scold from dear hubby. Ever since she knew the word “air con” , she has been requesting it, sun or rain, day or night, sick or in good health she just need to have one to fall asleep. Maybe it’s our fault, I see it as a failure of myself for not teaching her properly, it’s definitely our fault to give in to her easily.
Little Grump with her “Pa Pai” look. She can have even meaner look.