Breastfeeding Joy

Ever since I was pregnant with JS, I have wanted and made up my mind to fully breastfeed my child. However things didn’t go as easy as I thought it would be. I have naively think that breastfeeding is a very easy task that is at all mums fingertip. I didn’t read up beforehand and have no preparation before the baby comes. Needless to say, I was caught off handed when my girl was born.

The third day when we were home from the hospital, JS cried none stop. Being a first time mum, I tend to get panic easily and my determination waived when everyone in the family is worried and panic. In-laws were particularly concern as being tending to first grandchild. So off I have to send my dear hubby out to buy formula. What formula to buy?? We have not done any research on the formula market. So we just grab one that the nurse had told us that she had fed JS. My milk only came in after 6 days of delivery, and I have to resort to mix feeding JS. Everytime after bottle feed JS, I will supplement with breastmilk. Now I know how wrong was I. Then again, without proper knowledge and support, at 3 months old, 2 weeks after I returned to work, JS has got nipple confusion and refuse to suckle, and I just gave up without pestering her. That comes to the end of my breastfeeding journey with JS.

The 2nd time round, I was more determined than before and thanks to MYMOMSBEST I got to know more about breastfeeding. I manage to exclusively breastfeed WH for the first six months, with a little hiccups at the beginning like sore/cracked nipple during the first 2 weeks, because my milk came in late. WH was spoonfed 10ml of water during his 2nd day stay at the hospital because there were sign of dehydration. Other than that, everything was quite smooth sailing. At six months old, he started solid. I didn’t set a time frame on when to wean him. After he turned 1, he has shown interest in JS bottle milk. When the milk bottle is left on the table, he will pick it up and put in the mouth. So I have introduce him to formula. He takes it quite ok. Now at 17th months, he’s still nursing and take in a maximum of 8oz of formula milk a day. He doesn’t takes more than that, sometimes he even refuse.

Sometimes dear hubby does hint that I should wean WH, saying that my milk is not nutritious , do not have all the AAA , DHA..blah blah blah… and also he claims that because WH is breastfed, that’s why he’s not strong and small. Dear hubby call my boy “katek” , as in shorty…*sigh* but really I don’t have the mean to wean WH just yet. I enjoy the bond. I enjoy holding him and have him near to me.

Of course there were time that I’m on the verge of giving up. Especially on the nights when WH is not feeling well, he will latch on for the whole night, making me feel very very uncomfortable. My favourite sleeping position is to curl up in a ball, hugging my bolster or lying on my stomach, but when I’m nursing, I’m force to lie in an not so comfortable position. These are the nights that I dreaded, I secretly hoping to wean WH off the next morning. But when morning comes, I have forgotten about weaning eventhough I’m sleep deprived, with a sore nipple and stiff neck and aching shoulder blade. Anyhow, I will keep nursing him until he self weaned. There are nights that when WH is half asleep and suckling, he will let out a content chuckle. I really wonder what he’s dreaming about. That chuckle is enough to warm my heart and make me feel that my effort of breastfeeding is worth it.

My Boy’s Growing

Saw this:
WH wanted to reach for his story book at the top shelves. Could reach it. Took a box, stepped on it and manage to grab the book we wants
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WH likes to imitate his sister. Whatever the sister does, he just tags along and copies exactly. One thing he loves to do whenever JS got back from school is to head for his sister’s school bag. He will open the zip and ransack her things.
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JS went to a birthday party of her classmate at McD. Got this happy meal toy.WH saw it, tag along his sister with the longing eyes. So kesian to see him and JS just refused to let him hold or touch. Persuaded JS, finally WH got to hold it for a while. He let out the most beutiful smile. Just for a short while , he’s contented and hand back the toy to his sis. Ooh.. so sweet.
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WH is also a little MR. Vain. He will picks his own cloths and request a few change of cloths in a day. If we pick a shirt for him which he doesn’t like, he will kick a big fuss

List Of Hanh’s Vocubulary

WH doesn’t speak much. His vocub is limited. He can understands all that we say in Mandarin and English, pointing to everything we asked and following our instruction, but he just refused to speak. He prefers :”ng..ng..ng” and singing ” lalalaaa..aaahaha” and alot others baby talk. He prefers baby talk with sign language and body gesture to communicate with us.

Here’s the list of words he can say to date, he’s 17th months:
1) Papa ( his favourite)

ME: Call mummy
WH: Papa
ME: call mummy
WH: Papa, papa
ME: call mummy
WH: papapa

Hopeless!! Both WH and JS started calling their father first then only learn to call mama.

2) Mum mum (eat)

3) Pao pao ( to be carried)

4) Sjie sjie ( Sister)

4) Ka tkak ( kakak)

5) star

6) car

7) there

Off To The Park

The last time I brought the kids to the park was like 6 months ago. Evening time I’m busy cooking and dear hubby don’t usually comes back until the sun has set. Today, the kids were lucky, dear hubby got something on and will have his own dinner and my opposite neighbour has cooked 咸茶 ( I guess is a hakka dish, very delicious and healthy, something I want to learn from my neighbour, yes, we always exchange food) My dinner is settled, no need to cook, got time to bring the kids to the playground. So off we went. Drove them to the playground in the new phase. Bigger and newer than the one near our house. And they had the playground all by themself. WH even added 2 new words to his very limited vocubulary. “Park” and “Up” (Up the slide). He loves the tunnel slide.

They were so happy, shrieking and running about and their laughther echoed through the air.

Camera out of battery, forgotten to charge, have to resort to my palm camera, what a pity.

Pre-School

When we decided last year that JS should start school this year, I had a hard time of finding one to enrol her. Not to say that there’s no pre-school around, but I have my list of expectations on the school she will attend. I always wanted to sent her to a montessori play school where she can learn through play instead of the academic focus one. Unfortunately I can’t find one near our house or maybe I’m just not resourceful. I really wish she could attend a play school like shown in the picture. A very western style, where children can learn in a more relax mode, no stress , no homework with outdoor excursion. To my dissapointment, there is none here. (maybe there are such playschool in Subang/Bangsar).

My criteria: ( I have to say that not all my criterias were met with the current school JS’s attending. Can anyone tell me if there’s any school like the one I’ve expected?)

1. Caring, loving and attentive teachers who pay attention to ALL children.

2. Safe and clean environment, which means the tables and chairs, teaching aids, emergency staircase, toilets, nice playground, and etc are suitable and safe for children.

3. Location, not too far from home. Easy to leave and pick up children, where the kindergarten has a good “Come and Go” system for vehicles.

4. Easy to access or talk to the teachers about our children, if necessary.

5. Montessori Method with outdoor excursions.. Besides academic or homework, there should be some activities which emphasize on a child’s well-being, like teaching them how to dress up, pretend play, sports ie gym and swimming lesson or outdoor activities, songs and dances, and MORAL too.

6. Not too many children in a class. I think 10 children to 1 teacher ratio is good enough. If the number of children exceed 10, then there should be an assistant in the class to help out.

7. Please don’t force children under 3 years old to write, they’re not ready.

8. Homework is given occasionally and reasonably, not to scare children or kill their interest in learning by piling them with lots of writing. spelling test or exams.

9. No labelling of children and arranging their class by academic performance (this is very common)

10. No enforcement of children should stay back at school for tuition class, as most kindergarten teachers would “force” the parents to leave their children for tuition class, if not the kids won’t be able to catch up

11. If not all chinese students. It must be a mixture of other races as all. Which even a English medium school, should also have Mandarin class.

12. Teachers need to be properly trained and have a basic knowledge in first aid, best still have a cert in it. In Malaysia, pre-school teachers are mostly not certified with early childhood education course. They don’t even need to go for basic first aid training to get the cert. Very dissapointing

(I have forgotten to mention that my criteria are similar as Shoppingmum. Sorry shoppingmum for not giving you credits on this)

The place we stay or rather Senawang as a whole is a highly Malay populated area. I’m not biased, but the kindy here is just out of my choice. There is one chinese kindy nearby, but also not my choice because is in a “Kampung Baru Cina”. Don’t know if this is consider kiasu, but I’m just hoping of a standard as in KL, and these kindy does not meet it. There are pre- school of such that is somewhat in par in Seremban Jaya and in Seremban 2, but that’s just too too far away from home. I just couldn’t afford to spent 1/2 hr or more each way, twice a day to sent JS and pick her up. So I have to settle her in a choice I’m less favour or shall I say 2nd best. The only thing that attracts me is that the teacher , student ratio is low. 1:12 max. Currently JS class only 8 students. So she could get more attention from the teacher. They thought Mandarin twice a week, and a mixture of races. Though only 3 chinese gals, one six year old, one five and my girl in a four year old class, she’s actually 3 year old when class started in Jan. Listed in brochure, they have art and craft and Smart Cooking. That makes me think that maybe they are not so academic focus. It’s also near home, about 7 mins drive.

We wanted her to start school this year not so much of pushing her academically. We want her to socialize, mingle with the other kids and learn to be disciplined, be more independent and basically have fun. Because JS has got this endless energy at home that sometimes I can’t keep up with to stimulate her. To us, whatever she learns academically will be a bonus to us, as we really don’t want to push her. But still this school that she attends dissapoint me.

Two weeks before the March holiday, I’ve received a notice, saying that there would be an exam a week before the school holiday and revision paper will be given out and parents are advised to guide/supervise their kids. I was shocked!! An exam for a 3 year old?? School started in Jan, the first 2 weeks of school was orientation for new comers, then follow by a week for CNY break. My girl spent a good 1 1/2 months crying whenever I drop her there ( even she cried, she’ll be alrite after 1/2 hr at school and show happy face when I picked her up) and I don’t now how much she has actually learned. When I received the revision paper, I freaked out. Most of the questions are just too hard for a 3 years old who could barely hold the pencil right. I just don’t know how JS’s going to do it. She’s just a normal child, though sometime quite intelligent, but still she’s not genius. Of course she brought her homework back to do and she does it enthusiatically. The homework were just merely tracing the lines of capital alphabets. Usually the teacher will write about 12 or 8 big capital A in a page for the kids to trace , then the next day move to the next letter without repeating or an exercise of the kids or writing the letter themself. I have never really pay attention to her homework provided she trace it properly. I takes it that it’s meant to train the strenght of her wrist and doesn’t really pressure her much. By my oh my, in the revision paper, she’s suppose to write the letter herself. Fill in blanks of missing letters. some even in small character, which she has never learn before. I wonder what the teacher teaches in school. Besides asking them to trace, do they really teach the proper stroke ahead before giving out the homework. And they expect the kids to know how to write the capital letter from A-K and numbers from 1-6 within 2 months of schooling. Isn’t this pace too fast , especially for a 3 year old??? And worst.. there is spelling.

The question goes like this , fill in the blank.

o_e 1

tw_ 2

t_h__e 3

fo_r 4

f_v_ 5

Are these meant for a 3 year old??? I went to complain, the principal told me that one of my girl’s classmate can already write from A-Z and that I shouldn’t underestimate my child. I left with disgust. Wondering what these other parents or teachers really thinking. Needless to say, I didn’t push my girl for her exam. She went to school just as one of the normal day. ( yeah, there was a exam timetable like primary school, what day, time for what subject) . If I can find a playschool soon or if we could return to Subang for good, I will definately sent JS to a less stressful school.

家庭”煮”妇 A Housewife, A Cook

I must admit that before I became a SAHM, I don’t know a thing about cooking and it has never interested me. However, since I’m full time homemaker, it’s naturally to have me embraced the role of a full time cook for the family as well. Though I have a maid that is able to cook ( she used to cook for the whole family (chinese) during her last employment in PJ), reason being that

1) I don’t want to entrust the job to her and rely on her so much. I have the hygiene concern and also what if when her contract ends and I still have not learn a thing about cooking, who the hell’s going to help me out. If I don’t learn now, I will never going to learn later.

2) My dear hubby has a very delicate tastebud ( ie fussy) , so it’s naturally my responsibility to see that his expectation is met. If I rely on the maid to please my hubby tastebud, than I suppose I’m a lousy wife that failed terribly, who doesn’t even put in the little effort to show the love for her hubby.3) There is a great sastifaction after cooking and the meal been enjoyed and the efford appreciated.

When I was young, I hardly step into the kitchen. My mum has spoilt me too much. I’m not a 千金小姐, but mum just seems a little protective. She will get me go do my studies instead of helping, she will warn me the danger of knife until I was so scared about it and eventually I just stop going into the kitchen. Also at that time, the arrogant, silly me also thought that home science is for less brilliant students ( during schooltime, they put us in class, where the top students were put in commerce and the not so good students in art). The arrogant me doesn’t want to have anything to do with cooking ( how wrong was I and now I’m regretting it). When I was older, my mum did say that I should at least pick up some basic cooking, but I just brushed her off, saying that cooking is un-glamed. Who wants to be seen wearing t-shirts and short, sweating in the kitchen and smelling of fish rather than wearing smart business suits, sitting in air con room smelling of Dior. Ohh…. I was so so wrong. I realized after married that as a women, unless you plan to be single, one way to please your man/love one beside good sex is still warm home cooked food.

When I was in college, I can only cook rice, maggie mee and boiled soup (which ingredients has been earlier prepared by mum) and I cannot even fried an egg, which usually ends up looking “cacat”. My maternal grandma is a great cook and my mum’s humble cooking just taste marvelous, unfortunately I have not inherited any of these skill.

Then off to Australia, when my aunt started to teach me cooking, pasta, zucchini pie , some asian food, but when I came back, due to no practice, I forgotten everything , and got clumsy in the kitchen. I remembered there was once, mum went back to China with granny, and I’m suppose to cook for dad and brother. My dad as being a very easy to please and not fussy person, decided just after 1 meal that it’s better for him to tar pau than eat my petatite cooking. You can just imagine how bad that was.

I have never cooked for any of my Ex-s. And when I was with my then bf, now hubby, I was very pampered by him, and he cooks for me on a few occasions. First year of our marriage we eat out everyday or at my in-laws place when I was pregnant. So basically I have no need to be in the kitchen. I tried to cook for my in-law once, it didn’t leave a very good impression and my SIL still make joke of it a few years later. Later when I needed to cook porriadge for JS, I learned a few things from the sitter. Still I don’t know much and did a very simple thing to ensure there is variety of vege and meat and dumped it in a double boiler.

The journey as a cook started 9 months ago when the current maid arrived. Because there’s someone to help do the preparation and most important clean the mess afterward, so I can at least do something for my dear hubby. I started collecting recipes from magazine, newspaper and asked my mum and now I have also a dozen and more collection of recipe books namely on Perankan Cooking. But still many a times, I’m puzzled what the ingredients look like. I’m too pai seh to go to the wet market to ask: “tau keh, what is …”, so off I go to the hypermarket, everything has got a tag… it’s like going back to school again, learning the name of the veges, different sauces. Oh yes, Woman Weekly’s has got a FOOD ID page, which is very handy too. Before that I dont even know what’s the different between shallot and onion and alot more other stuffs.. ( still I don’t know how a LARD looks like, though I know is pork fat)

This learning process has not been easy, as dear hubby is very hard to please. Not every recipe suited him. There are things that he doesn’t eat that cooks in a certain way, sometimes he’s heaty and cannot cook certain food and most of all have to think of something with taste, look and smell (色香味俱全). His has got his mum’s cooking imprinted in his brain (peranakan cooking with a lot of rempah) and also all the good food tasted in restaurants or hotels over the years. His expectation from me is somehow high until sometime my mum’s humble cooking just wouldn’t do. In the beginning, there were often food untouched with a very long sour face, I really felt lousy and unappreciated. However, I’m glad that now though still no complement from him, there is more approval on his face when he’s eating my food. Still… there’s a long way to go. I wish I could cook like twinsmom, simple and delicious, so so envy.

Beside cooking, I love baking cakes the old way ( no electric mixer), I love making cake in mixer bowl with a wooden spoon. Reminds me alot of my childhood where my mum always bake together with little aunt over the weekends.

Mum plays important role to instil the love of cooking in their kids. I’m not going to repeat my mum’s mistake. I’m going to start JS young by letting her into the kitchen and have fun whenver possible. Of course there are times that I’m angry with the mess she’ve made, but I guess that’s what I’ve paid the maid for… to clean up the mess!!

Dissapointment.. Guilt

I haven’t got a chance to meet up with any of my friends for a while. ( Can’t remember how long was that since I last met any of them) YC was my collegemate which I still keep in touch with through sms/mail. She has wanted to meet up badly, however I guess I must have really greatly dissapointed her. She will be leaving for China soon for 2 months and in fact she rushed back from JB during Saturday just hope that I could actually arranged sometime to meet up on Sunday. .. Now thinking about that makes me feel so guilty. For weeks, I had afraid to confirm a date with her, as during weekends my time is not as flexi as one could think of.

Have I placed too much priority on my family till I have neglected my own space? Usually for weekends, my in-laws especially SIL#1 would have arranged all sort of family activities. Sometimes till we don’t have time to visit my parents. Then there is the kids, have to make sure that there are well fed or their meals prepared before we head out for our outings and also that time won’t clash with their nap and that they will still be fresh instead of restless and cranky. Then I don’t have a car while in Subang, and I can’t just drive out anytime as I wanted to. Have to depends on dear hubby’s mood and also consider whether he’s too tire to bring me out…. if we were to leave home without the kids, then have to sneak out when they are settled or napping. ooh…100 of things to consider and take care of just for one short outing. Or is that just excuses??

For last Saturday, we didn’t arrive in Subang till around noon, head straight to Carrefour , as dear hubby needs to buy something for the company. Had lunch there and head back to in-law’s house as the kids are already tired. Nap there ( the kids can nap for at least 2 hours) and then have to get them ready to go out for dinner in PJ. By the time we finished dinner already 9 something. Sent in-laws home, sent SIL#1 home and then spent a night at SIL#2 house.

Sunday, kids usually wake up late. They woke up at 9am. Feed them breakfast, bathed them, packed and get ready for out lunch appointment at 1U. Again have to go around few places to fetch SIL#1 and in-laws. FIL not feeling well, have to cut short our shopping at 1U. Bought the safety gate for the stairs in a hurry, after lunch then sent everyone home and we also left KL. By the time we reached home already 4pm. So again, we missed a chance to meet my parents (they are super busy during weekends only free on Saturday night by giving tuition. In my mum’s case, I wonder why these parents of Standard1 – 3 students want their kids to have tuition on Sunday. Isn’t this the day meant for family instead of tuitions tuitions and lessons lessons) and I don’t know where I can squeeze in time for YC. Dear hubby doesn’t want to come back too late and also that when we got back, still got time for me to prepare dinner and settle down everything.

Feeling truly sorry to YC, hope she won’t shut herself from me because I’ve 放飞机.