17th Months Old

WH turns 17th months more than a week ago. His progress

Physical Development
At some angle, he still looks like a baby (maybe the baldness, botak makes him look like a baby), at some point can see he’s growing into a more boyish look. He always has this cheecky smile on the face.
Weight: 8.9kg – 9 kg
Height: 90cm
Not much growth on the height and weight. Still wearing the same old cloths and shoes, have not outgrown them yet. He has always been on the small side, but lately can see that he’s rounder. He has got more teeth cutting out. WH started walking at 15th months and now he prefers to run than walk, he’s like a mabuk man walking around the house, swinging his hand back and forth everytime he walks. He doesn’t really needs his nap in the morning anymore. He can climb up our bed already.
When WH sees flies or flying insects flying around, he would go fetch the fly beaten and swing around attempting to beat the fly. If there is mosquitoes, then he would fetch for the zapper instead.

Social Development:
WH is independent, he can play by himself, but sometimes he can be clingy. He get jealous too when the sister asked for attention, he will follow suit. Still very much attached to my nan-nan. WH is a copy cat, follows, imitates and tags along his sister and whatever the sister does. They play quite well together. WH listens and observes intensly about his surrounding.WH likes to watch the big boys in the neighbourhood play. He will always calls out to them “ah…ah”. He likes men, boys company more than girls.

Speech/Communication Development:
Last night was his first time calling me “MEME”. Another new word is “tach” (Touch).
JS started talking simple 2-3 words phrase by 18months, but WH has a very limited vocubularies. He can understand a great deal of words we said both in Mandarin and English, but he refuse to say it. He prefers his baby talk which can be quite cute to listen to. Of course he has got all his gesture, actions to communicate with us. He definately can follow instructions well. E.g take mummy’s book, keep this for mummy….
JS was self-potty trained for passing big motion at 18th months, and I can see that WH is quite ready for that as well. When ever he wants to pee, he will pull his nappy, each time the nappy is wet, he would make a fuss and request a change. He knows how to go to potty when he wants to poo, but not exactly doing it in the potty yet. He shreaks when he wanted something or when we took away something from him

During the once a week music class that my girl attended, I let WH sits in as well. He can follow well during the class along with all the kor kor , jie jie. When he listens to the music , he knows what action to do even at home when we play back the music. He just loves to dance

Interest:
TV : Loves to watch TV, he knows how to pick his VCD and request me to on it. He will then climb to the sofa and sit comfortably waiting for the show to start.

Book: Loves reading. Will pick book and read by himself, flipping through pages.

Car: Loves playing toy cars

Cleaning up : WH is a fussy boy, will request us to wash his hand wen it’s just a little dirty. Copied his sister, taking cloths and sponge wiping all the surface.

WH playing by himself. The Pizza Boy that’s busy delivering his orders.

Shopaholic

I’m a shopaholic. Now that I’m not working anymore, it makes me more guilty to shop the way I did. I always try to tell myself to be more thrifty, to think twice, thrice or think more before buying something, but sometimes I just got this itch that I can’t control. I had a list of the things I want to buy but not necessary need, if after a few months, the item is still in my list and I still have the urge to have it, then I’ll buy. GUITLY, GUILTY. (The beauty of working is when you got your own income, maybe you feel less guitly)

I’m a book worm, don’t bring me to the bookshop, else I never end up empty handed. At one point, I crazily bought a lot of recipe books, then kids books, then non-fiction books. Then I had these sets of encyopedias from GROLIA, which cost me quite a lot.

At another time, I was crazily fallen for nursing cloths, and I can’t stop shopping for it online.

Then come this craving for kitchen utensils. Kid’s stuff (excluding clothings), different times , I have different craves. Before married, I sign up spa sessions for massage, milk bath, slimming (though I’m not super fat and don’t necessarily needs the slimming session). The only things that I don’t shop like crazy or hardly does are cloth (beside that time I have craving for nursing tops), shoes, jewelleries, handbags and cosmetics.

I must control, control,control my spending. Try to go out alone less, if go out with dear hubby, sure he can control me!

In The Mood Of Love

Here’s something for my dear hubby (eventhough he doesn’t know the existence of my blog) . From so many previous posts, it seems like we are always in term of disagreements or that I’m always unhappy with him. No matter how fussy, how hard is it to please him but in truth, I’m just too grateful to have found this hubby of mine, no one is ever perfect, but my dear hubby is just one good man, good husband, good son, good father, good son-in-law. After all these years of ups and downs (just minor arguments of unimportant things, not to say he’s cheated me or what), I still love him dearly and he meant so so much to me.

Unlike many couples that had dated a decade before tying the knots, ours is consider super fast. 3 months after courting, dear hubby proposed and eight months later we were married. All in less than a year time. (NO, He didn’t get me pregnant. We were just too in love and wanted to spent every single moment together, father is very strict and old fashioned, no co-habitat is allowed before marriage). But not once have I ever regretted. People might doubt, have you made the right choice? Do you get to know a person well in such a short period in order to entrust your whole life to? I know I have certainly make the right choice. The moment I got to know my dear hubby in person, I know he’s the one I’m looking. It’s very strange feeling, but I can feel it instantly. I had 3 relationship before meeting my hubby. 1st one lasted 4 years (such an asshole, looser, I wasted my youth on him), 2nd one six months, 3rd one 1 1/2 years and in the past two relationship (except the 2nd one) I’m also seeing a string of other guys at the same time, looking , seeking for the right one. The moment I met my hubby, I know HE’S THE ONE!! He’s a my saviour, someone who is able to tame me, make me more realistic (脚踏实地)

How and where we met?
Dec 1999, I joined Ericsson as IT helpdesk. June 2000, dear hubby joined the engineering department. We didn’t know each other personally, mainly just a nod when we bumped into each other and knew which departments we belongs to. Dec 2000, a week before Christmas break which lasted a week, dear hubby approached me and we made friends, exchange emails and had lunch date merely as colleagues/friends. Nothing happen, nothing blossom and holiday came, he went of to Turkey for holiday, he called before he depart from the airport. I was guessing, maybe there’s something going to happen. 2000, new year eve, dear hubby got back from his holiday, asked me out. We went to Bangsar for the new year countdown. Was very crowded and we tried to make our way walking through the crowd, and he offered to hold my hand. ( Recalling back that moment now, my heart was thumping fast, like a little school girls that has met her prince) . We had a great night and didn’t call our day off until 4 am. That’s when we became an item. On New Year’s Day.

We spent another 3 months working under the same roof before I was transfered to IT HQ in Kelana. During that 3 months, strangely we never ride in the same car to work. I would drive myself there and we would wait for each other at the car park and walk to the office together, we had lunch together and we got off work together and we exchanged endless emails whenever possible. ( Before knowing my hubby, I always stayed back at work till late, but after knowing him, I cabut straight at 5.30pm) . My hubby will tailed behind me until I safely reached home, then we will go off dating for the night. Everyday, even we worked at the same place, we just couldn’t get enough of each other ( that was how crazily in love we were) When I got transferred, dear hubby was so sad that we couldn’t work under the same roof again.

I was truly pampered. For no particular reasons or occations, dear hubby would gives me flowers and gifts. He got flowers delivered to office a few times and everyone (girls especially) looks at me with envy. Everything that hubby done to me, the loves he showers me just like those love movies or scenes only found in tv or loves stories. (Like a dream comes true) I was truly flattered.

The most vivid incident was when we were still working under the same roof, we were still newly in love and no one in the office knew. One day, two colleagues of mine, the MD’s secretary and me was caught in the lift for a good ten minutes. We pressed the bell, but no one seems to be able to get us out. Since we worked in the factory and handphones are not allowed in assembly line, everyone was given a dect phone, so I called my dear hubby. He came to my rescue. (Wah, like a hero in the movie) He’s the one observant enough and have a calm mind to think for a solution. He has got these triangle shape key from the x-ray machine he worked at that fits in to the lift’s door emergency lock. With that we managed to climb out from the lift. Among the sea of people outside the lift, I saw this little worried, anxious face behind looking out for me. When I was finaly out, safe and sound, he was there to make sure I was alright. It was really really heart warming to have someone who cares deeply, every tiny gestures tell that he does care for me deeply. Very touching indeed.

When we were engaged. I spent about two nights a week at his place. Every morning we would set off to work together, with him tailing behind me. At parting point, he would overtake and blow me a kiss. We were crazily in love that we would hold hands , kiss everywhere anytime possible. That were the good old days.

Now that we are married, we don’t do the silly things anymore. But still he shows his love by doing little things for us, for me, for the family which sometimes is hard to notice or I’ve take for granted. But definately he has done he fair share to show how much he cares.

We are two strong-headed and stubborn person, but still I love him dearly, far more than words can describe. For whatever disagreements, well, we will have to work it out and compromised. Dear hubby’s a leo (Lion King) and I know he likes to be treated with respect and dignity and I’m just happy to play the submissive wife role. As long as hubby is happy, I’m happy.

It might be fate that we are meant to be together. There were signs that we might have crossed path even before we knew each other. When I was dating 1st Ex, both of them studied in TAR, I might have met dear hubby at Setapak area. My hubby’s 1st Ex stayed two rows away from my house next to Taman Jaya. We might have dated together at Taman Jaya with our then partner. Hubby and my 3rd ex from Malacca, both Baba, they might have attended the same primary school. I always passed by hubby’s relatives house then. Both hubby and 3rd ex shares the same surname and first name. Sounds like they were brothers.

Reasons that I love my hubby (我的爱情宣言):
1) He’s handsome even with his bulging tummy now ( haha, beauty lies in the eye’s of beholder, but he do looks like HK actor , Cheung Kar Fai 张家辉)
2) He’s kind and a very gentleman.
3) He’s a filial son and a very good brother
4) He does not smoke, gamble, and not a kaki bottol ( alcoholic)
5) He’s not addicted to food ball or car race that would get him stick to the idiot box for the whole night, neither is he a pc game addict that he would spent time on the pc or video games rather than with me. (Rare species!)
6) He’s very neat ( in fact super neat)
7) He’s well groomed and clean ( yucks..I don’t want man with long ungroomed hair, long fingers nails and with ketiak busuk)
He has always manage to keep a cool mind and very analytical. ( I always panic easily and hubby is the one who can think of solutions)
9) He’s the handy man that can fix almost everything
10) He’s very attentive and delicate to tiny little details. 体贴细心
11) He does all the things whole heartly and perfectly, fast and efficient ( Me the dili-deleh type)
12) We share the same faith, we are buddhist and he takes initiative to go to the temple or chant and meditates at home ( he knows the hymns and the pujas I know. A man with religion will not easily stray, though no guarantee)
13) Eventhough he’s a kaki jalan, cannot sit at home for long , but he’s definately not a party animal. No night clubbings and drinking session… quite heahtly lifestyle for a man.
14) He plans everything in advance and is a very well organized man. (Me a last minute person)
15) He’s my best friend, my mentor, my big brother, my lover
16) He knows how to buy people’s heart
17) He has got good taste
18) He’s my fashion consultant. He gives sincere opinion instead of just a simple remark to brush me off
19) He’s matured
20) He’s manly
21) He’s not afraid to show his true emotion
22) He comes from a good family background. (No, not born with a golden key in his mouth but a family that instil good values, who treassure family values)
23) He’s good mannered
24) He respect the olderly and accept my parents for who they are
25) He drove an Alfa Romeo when we first met (Just kidding, I’m not so materialistic, but this is to make my Exs feel inferior, if they really have a chance to read this)
26) He has got a Master Degree from UK (This will promise a better future, between love and bread, it’s a bonus to have both)
27) He allows me to stay at home to take care the kids and shoulders the responsibility of providing a comfortable live for the family
28) He gives me a maid to lessen my burden
29) He gives the most passionate loving kiss
30) He’s helpful and thoughtful
31) He’s got the most comfortable shoulder and chest to lie on. Very cushionable.
32) He’s good in bed, and gives me real big O (tsk ,tsk.This one a bonus to boost his man’s ego just in case he stumble upon my blog, still its the truth)

Would I trade my hubby if there is someone better?? NO, DEFINATELY NOT. Even with his kepala angin, mood swing, cuckooness, kongcum ness, fussiness, possesiveness, he’s still one few good man left on earth who is too good to be true. I love him for who he is. He makes me 收心养性, ever since I’ve met dear hubby, I’ve vowed not to betray or cheat on him, I vowed not to do things that will hurt his pride and feeling.

Single men out there, now you know why girls are so choosy with their partner, because they are still scouting for men like my hubby. Single women, stop drooling all over my hubby, he’s MINE!

SAHM’s Views

Long long time ago, the roles of a wife and husband were more or less defined. The wife took care of the household, breeds and took care of the kids and also took care of the man’s need and pampered the man while the man brought back the bacon. Ocassionally, the man would mow the lawn, fix the bulbs and faucets, but that was it. Spending 8 to 10 hours at the office seems to be enough work. Afterall, they are the one earning the money, the sole breadwinner. It seems to be an unspoken term that men are entitled for after work leisure to de-stress.

Then came the time for change where women seek for equality. Women started to get themself educated and got themself job that could offer them high pay, fat bonuses, leaves , rewards and the sastifaction of career advancement and pleasures of climbing the corporate ladders.

Now again, there is a change of trend where many women has opted to give up their high flying job and become a full time mother or are working from home in a more flexi way. Again the husband become the sole breadwinner or the one still bringing more earning than the wife. One wonders : Why become a full time stay at home mum? What of the plain housewife who does not contribute monetarily? Without a salary and opportunities for ‘career advancement’,without leaves, MC , where do we get our short-term gratification and the long-term motivation to keep at our job?

For me, I’m very easy to please. I just need a generous, loving husband to keep going.

Husband’s role at home is more than just to help out with housework and the kids. I believe a husband’s primary job today, above and beyond his professional call of duty, provide a maid, is to take extra good care of his supermom-wife, more so than ever especially emotionally. (Full time parenting is a thankless job, still a hard work even with maid. Sitting in office, dealing with workers, bosses and machine problems will not be as exhausted as a mum-wife at 8pm I believe it is worst for those full time mums without maid)

As much as I love every moment with my kids, nothing beats the love from my man after a long day. Just wish to have a nice, snuggly hug more often and that will really brings me to cloud nine. That will be my bonus, my motivation to try harder to be a better wife, better mum.

p/s: I find my dear hubby super sexy and heart warming when he attends to the kids. When he changes their nappies, bath them, really put down the papers and remote controls to spent time with them is just so so sexy.

清明 Qing Ming

Last Saturday, when we got back to Subang, we had our Qing Ming prayer as well, just like any other Chinese. However our Qing Ming (dear hubby’s family) is just a simple affair. We don’t have to go to the grave yard, it’s just not a practise of my dear hubby’s family. Hubby’s family were from Malacca, but ever since I have known him, they don’t practise going to the grave during Qing Ming, and it really keeps me wondering where were their relatives buried.

see the chair behind the alter… suppose to be place for the unseen guest to sit and enjoy the meal.

Our Qing Ming, a simple alter is set up in the living room with offerings. 4 times a year this alter is set up, during Chinese New Year’s eve, Qing Ming, The Hungry Ghost festivals for prayers to the ancestors, and one more elaborate alter for prayer to “Ti Kong” (heavenly god) on the 8th day of Chinese New Year. MIL usually cooks a feast for these prayers. Here we had Ayam Pongteh, Chap Chye, Curry Chicken, Hee Piaw T’ng with meat and fish balls and quail eggs, Pig intestine soup with gingko nuts, braised Pork leg with mushroom (usually MIL cook braised sea cucumber instead of pork leg) , fried tang hoon. Included in the offerings were also fruits, nyonya kuih, white rice, XO and tea and also two boxes of paper money. FIL will toss the coin to invite the ancestors for the feast, prayer ends when coins were tossed again to see if “they” have eaten and the burning of paper money. So simple, no sweating under the hot sun, caught in the jam to the graves.

On the contrary, my family (father side) still go to the graves to clean the weeds, offer a prayer (no burning of paper stuffs) every Qing Ming. We had two different sites with about 5 -6 graves to visit. But for the 29 years in my life, I have never been once, neither my mum. I don’t know why. I only been to the family graves once which was 3 weeks before my wedding, for the funeral of my granduncle.

Qing Ming is a day for us to remember our ancestor and pay our respect and homage to them. However one strange thing with Chinese is that they always had a mindset of that their departed loves one are in underworld who rely on us to offer money and food. How depressing thoughts. Why don’t they visualize that their departed love one has gone to a better place ie heaven, nirvana or even rebirth??

Men Have 1000 Reasons To Stray

Last Sunday, on Star Dear Thelma’s section, letter from this guy.

He’s in late 30s, married for 10 years, has 2 young kids. He’s working in China, while the family remain in M’sia. He admitted that he has a great wife, who takes care of the family and kids well, confident and capable and independent and inspired him to advance himself, the wife is the opposite of his parents who are illiterate, womaniser and a mum who was not good at house chores. The wife a SAHM, taking care of 2 kids alone in hometown. The only problem is that the wife cold not get along with this man’s family (can’t stay under the same roof, and the family does not like this women). This man said that due to the intolerance of the wife towards his family, his love for his wife flatuated and he stop calling home. ( Eventhough he’s in china, the wife still brings the kids to visit the grandparents. Is this what you call intolerance??) He even started an affair with a chinese woman. Wife found out about affair, but man did not apologize, instead blaming the wife of invading his privacy. Man home for a visit without informing wife, but wife still perfomed his wifey duty of providing place to stay and food. Yet, this man is complaining the wife treated him like a guest more than a husband.

C’mon man, the man is wrong at the first place, and yet he got the guts to complaint. I was wondering, why in the first place he started the affair and using the lame excuse of that the wife is intolerance to his family? Why do men blame their wifes when they stray? Before they do anything STUPID, don’t they at least think of their children first? Or it just doesn’t cross their mind?

Few months ago, my godbrother also confessed that he had an affair. His work requires him wo stay put in US a few months at a time. To me, he’s such a loving husband, a family man. He has got two young daughters around my kids age. I just couldn’t believe it when a SYT is in front of him, he just couldn’t think straight. Just like any other man ( excluding my dear hubby, at least at this moment) his excuses was his wife. He claims that before he started the affair, he already got marriage problem and they always argued. Hell, if you got problem, work it out, why do you need to start an affair and make things more complicated. Now he wants to make up with his wife, but the hurt that he has cause his wife will take years to heal and of course the trust that the wife has been given him also shattered. It is certainly not fair to his wife. Why can’t men think before they act? Men are so greedy, they find excuses to have fun, to have an affair but they won’t want to let go their wife.

I know , I know. Not all the women are goody goody. My girlfriend T, strayed too. I don’t know what happen to her now. When I first got to know her from a parenting group, she gave me an impression that she’s a mum that puts her kids interest before hers. The kids was her priority. At one point , she even decided to quit her job together with me and be a SAHM. But when I quit my job, she has got a better job offer and job hop ( She’s a “sexy-turkey”) , from then on, she started to groom herself, and slim down a great deal. She looks so much more attrative. Two months after she started her new job, she told me she’s got marriage problem. Initially I thought is her husband that has strayed and she didnt talk much about it. Then few months later, she sms-ed me and said that she wanted to show off a bit. She told me she’s got a new camera phone, a new car to drive ( before that she never owned a car) and a new tag-heur as a birthday gift. T’s hubby work as a site supervisor. She need not say more that I know she’s the one who has betrayed her hubby. She has also left her two young daughters behind with her MIL in her hometown. I was puzzled, how could a woman with kids stray?? Surely, you love your hubby enough to get married and have a family. Why after years of married only realize your hubby can’t provide what you want, why let the kids suffer?? QUESTION MARKS STILL!

Seeing so many failed marriage, I treasure my hubby alot. Eventhough we have our ups and downs, we will just have to keep trying to make things better. Dear hubby meant a lot to me.