Last Saturday, when we got back to Subang, we had our Qing Ming prayer as well, just like any other Chinese. However our Qing Ming (dear hubby’s family) is just a simple affair. We don’t have to go to the grave yard, it’s just not a practise of my dear hubby’s family. Hubby’s family were from Malacca, but ever since I have known him, they don’t practise going to the grave during Qing Ming, and it really keeps me wondering where were their relatives buried.
see the chair behind the alter… suppose to be place for the unseen guest to sit and enjoy the meal.
Our Qing Ming, a simple alter is set up in the living room with offerings. 4 times a year this alter is set up, during Chinese New Year’s eve, Qing Ming, The Hungry Ghost festivals for prayers to the ancestors, and one more elaborate alter for prayer to “Ti Kong” (heavenly god) on the 8th day of Chinese New Year. MIL usually cooks a feast for these prayers. Here we had Ayam Pongteh, Chap Chye, Curry Chicken, Hee Piaw T’ng with meat and fish balls and quail eggs, Pig intestine soup with gingko nuts, braised Pork leg with mushroom (usually MIL cook braised sea cucumber instead of pork leg) , fried tang hoon. Included in the offerings were also fruits, nyonya kuih, white rice, XO and tea and also two boxes of paper money. FIL will toss the coin to invite the ancestors for the feast, prayer ends when coins were tossed again to see if “they” have eaten and the burning of paper money. So simple, no sweating under the hot sun, caught in the jam to the graves.
On the contrary, my family (father side) still go to the graves to clean the weeds, offer a prayer (no burning of paper stuffs) every Qing Ming. We had two different sites with about 5 -6 graves to visit. But for the 29 years in my life, I have never been once, neither my mum. I don’t know why. I only been to the family graves once which was 3 weeks before my wedding, for the funeral of my granduncle.
Qing Ming is a day for us to remember our ancestor and pay our respect and homage to them. However one strange thing with Chinese is that they always had a mindset of that their departed loves one are in underworld who rely on us to offer money and food. How depressing thoughts. Why don’t they visualize that their departed love one has gone to a better place ie heaven, nirvana or even rebirth??
