(A recent photo of grandma. She has since aged alot after the lost of her beloved son few months ago. I think she still haven’t got over the trauma and sadness and depression)
I have decided to blog about my maternal grandmother. I think she’s a very strong-willed woman, a great mum, a great daughter-in-law and a great wife. I love and respect my grandma very much and I want to write down her story (whatever little thing I know from my mother) so that when my kids grow older then will get to know the life story of their great-grandmother, the struggle that my grandma has gone through.
My grandma was born in Fujian, China in the year of 1924 to a well to do family. My great grandfather’s family is a prayer incense maker. Unlike many girls at her time, my grandma is very lucky to get to be educated. She’s the pet of her father and has got a servant (mui jai) by herself. So all through her girlhood to teen years, my grandma is living under good life and does not need to do housework. All these changed when she was in highschool.
My grandfather was born in Malaya, but during olden time (I should said my grandfather time) it’s norm for straight chinese to look for wife in back in China. I could say that my grandfather’s family was quite well to do as well. They had land, plantations and shop lots. But my grandfather wasn’t his mum’s favourite son, hence doesn’t really had much of the better life. When my grandfather reached the age to marry, he has gone back to China to look for his bride. It was at a show ( I think opera or something like that), the matchmaker actually pointed some other girl, but my grandfather looked at the wrong direction and thought my grandmother was the girl meant to be his bride. All the mistake changed my grandma’s life. She was unwilling, she hasn’t finish high school and she doesn’t even know or love my grandfather, however, the wedded. They spent a few years in China, leaving together with my grandma’s parent. (They had well treated my grandfather) Both my first and second uncle was born in China.
When grandma was bearing my mum, they moved back to Malaya. That’s the time hell started for my grandma. Since my great grandma doesn’t like his son, eventually my grandma fallen victim as well. I think she’s got the hell worst mother-in-law that ever exist. She was physically and verbally abused. Of course she was forced to do all the housework she has never done before, just like a maid and a maid that has been very very ill treated. However, as a tough woman my grandma is, she swallowed every bitterness by herself, and she started to learn to tend the household, cook, sew, trim hair. The worst was, her mother-in-law forced my grandfather to take in a mistress. Grandma bored 6 children and later the mistress also had 6 kids. So all together, my grandfather had 12 kids. Life was hard, money was never enough. But never once my grandma complaint. In order to help ease her husband burden, my grandma even welcomed the mistress’s kids to her home, cook, sew and trim their hair for them, and treated them just like her own kids. ( I must say all the children especially the eldest from my grandfather’s mistress , respected my grandma greatly)
My grandma later pick up the malay language and a bit of english. She learn to trade and play shares (my grandma is not a gambler ), she also started working for the family business. Helping people write letters back to China and helping them sent money back to China and earn a little from the exchange rates and commision. Until today, at the age of 81, my grandma still have the habit of going back to her office, eventhough nowadays no one hardly ever need her service anymore.
The great respect I have for my grandma is that she never bear grudge. No matter how badly her mother-in-law treated my grandma but she still treated her mother-in-law with respect and sincere heart. During my great-grandmother old days ( she passed away when I was 17), when she was sick and lonely, it was my grandmother who spent time with her.
My grandmother is a very talented and skilled woman. She cooks excellently. She doesn’t need recipe, once she tried the food, she can manage to cook it later at home. She cooks excellent nyonya cuisine (meehoon siam, laksa, curry chicken, asam fish), she can make the best “bak keng” (meat roll), poppiah. She can make tasty tang yuan, bak zhang, nasi kunyit, ang ku kuih, mee ku, hokkien mee (yum yum…nowadays, grandma has retired from kitchen, aunt has taken over..miss her cooking so much). She can sew excellent dresses too, when I was younger, all my dresses were made by my grandma and aunt. And she can trim hair like a professional haircutter.
I wish I could go back hometown more often to visit my grandma.
Posted by dragonmummy 
Posted by dragonmummy 
Posted by dragonmummy 
