Back To School

After keeping JS home for a week, she’s back to school again today. Though she has often mentioned about school last week when she was home, but when I sent her there today I can see there’s some gloominess in her face. Although she has been very good girl at school today and never cried when I drop her off. Last week when she was home, she’s such a different person, I can sense the cheerfulness in her by the way she talks and acts. Today she’s just different, but I try not to make notice in front of her and treated her just like any other day.

When I picked her up from school, she has got this goody bag. Perhaps one of the kids celebrated his/her birthday with the school again. WH saw the bag and tagged along his sister with this longing look in his eyes. It’s quite pity to see him like that and it melts my heart. But as a mum, I guess I have to be neutral in the sense that I can only encourage JS to share her goodies and not force her of sharing, because she got her rights to keep her things and also I don’t want her to feel that I’m siding on her little brother. As for WH, no matter how protective I wanted to be, I still need to train him to be able to fight and fence for himself.

I do not have any older sibling myself, but I can understand the hurt of being shun by one older sibling. And I wonder when I was young have I been treating my little brother like that or have I always been generous and loving to him.

Kiasu Mum – Not Easy To Be Parent

It’s not easy being a parent these days. Unlike our grandparents or parents time, they just gave birth, make sure the kids are fed and have clothing, basically that’s about it. Now, with education we received, we somehow know beside providing foods and cloths for the kids, we also have to cater to their physical, emotional and mental growth. And with the ever growing competativeness around us, it’s hard not to be kiasu. No matter how hard I supress to be a kiasu mum, I really can’t deny I’m one and the expectation I have in my kids to be a well-rounder.

When JS was very young, I signed her up for Gymboree classes. My reason, for her to socialise. Sometimes as parent, we actually pushing our kids to do what we want, what we were deprived from when we were young (the thought: last time I don’t get to to it, and I wish I have done it, now that I can afford… ), instead of acting according to their interest.

I have a list of things (lessons/activities) which I would consider for my kids to attend and I somehow got my reason for them to do so. (Of course that’s just my wish list and I’m trying hard not to make it real)

Activities available for kids/in my wish list: (So far only the first in my list has been materialized)
1) Music Class (JS’s is attending but has not specialize in any instruments)
Reason: There’s a saying 学音乐的孩子不会坏. (Kids with music foundation will not be easily influences by bad elements) and also the experts said music will help the right brain development (右脑开发) so the kids will have balance right and left brain development…. whatever. But I guess my main reason is that to follow the tradition in my family, as all my cousins and me were given music lesson when we were young, either in piano, violin or organs.

2) Drawing
Reason: JS loves drawing. It seems to be common extra activity most parents sign up their kids for.

3) Abacus/Mental Arithmetric
Reason: No reason..just in my list to consider. Most likely will not materialized

4) Ballet/Dance
Reason: To correct JS’s posture and walking. Because I have wanted to do it when I was young and never got a chance to.

5) Swimming
Reason: Form of exercise

6) Karate or any self defense class
Reason: Self defense… our society is not safe

7) Enopi/Kumon/Shicinda
Reason: SIL said beside being artistic (art and music class) maths is very important. But also most likely I wont enrol my kids. Because it’s not really training the kid’s mind to think..it’s basically spoon feed with lot of worksheets.

Bao Bei
Reason: Was tempted, because can learn Mandarin. Again, it’s just in my list that most likely won’t materialized, because it’s also a spoon feed method which I can do at home. The kids attended this will recognize many chinese characters, but sad that they don’t always understand the meaning.

9) Drama n Speech
Reason: Don’t know how this ended in my list. Just one option available after seeing advertisement on newspaper.

10) Outbound school
Reason: 2 of my cousins had actually attended this when they were young. It train them to be independent. Of course this makes them treasure the home more as they leave the cocoon of their home. But I guess when my kids were old enough, NS Training Camp will be just as good for them.

11) Buddhist Sunday School
Reason: This is a must go when they reach the age. Religion is important foundation for their characteristic and well being later.

12) Whatever holiday camp
Reason: Good past time for the holiday

13) Basket ball
Reason: A form of sport for WH, built him up physically and hopefully he can be a tall boy/man. So that no one can give him names like katek and short biologist.

If my mum knows that I have this wish list, I think she would strongly oppose to it. Though she’s giving a lot of tuition to pre-schooler and lower primary students (On the parents request) She doesnt agree on pressuring the kids this way.
I think I can really be a Kiasu mum if I don’t stop controlling myself. One thing for sure is I won’t sign up my kids for endless tuitions after school. I believe I’m capable to coach them in the comfort of our own home after ample of rest after school and again I know that I won’t be pushing my kids to score straight As. Rather to have them be a well rounder and proceed with their interest than pushing them. Very contradiction ME! I wish I could stay clear my mind when the time comes and not compare my kids with others and being KIASU.

Overwhelm By Neighbour Hospitality

邻居的热情, 让我透不过气. 救命啊!

I have this neighbour, whose hospitality make me feel overwhelmed. In fact a little suffocating until the stage that each time she came knocking at my door, I feel scared to answer her.

My opposite neighbour is the only Chinese in our row of about 40 houses (Our housing area is highly Malay populated). When we just moved in, this aunty was so glad finally she got a chinese companion (She’s about my MIL’s age) Neighbour are originally from a Chinese kampung near Kulai, where there are alot of Chinese, and 串门子 (gossiping houses to houses) is their hobby. So almost everyday she would come over to our house and at the same time she would bring along alot of things, either her cooking , some basil herbs, lemongrass, kamquats she planted or she ever belanja me food. This happen almost everyday!!!!

When we just moved in, the kids were young and I don’t have a maid. At that time this aunty and her husband is at home everyday, and they would tar pau food for me , show me around where to do my marketing etc etc (again, this ulu housing area, want to do marketing especially buy pork, is a bit difficult). I’m grateful for that as at that time I was a little handicap to go out myself with 2 young kids (though I did sometimes).

At one time the husband just couldn’t stand the boring lifestyle here and decided to go back to their home town for good. So left this aunty alone stranded in the house like a prisoner, with no mean of transport, no Astro and no phone. The son keeps her here to take care of the grandkids, but the fact is the grandkids attend school in the morning and are sent to childcare in the afternoon and no one is at home during the day. The son and the grandchildren only come home late in the evening. She does the housework, laundry and cooking just like a maid for her son and daughter in law. (Pity her though) So her only meant of communication and entertainment is to come over to my house and chit chat. When time permits, I would invite her along when I go do my marketing in town or Giant. But I just cant possibily invite her everytime, as I have my own plans and things to do. And also whenever I bring her out, she would offer to pay petrol and buy me lunch.

Last month I started getting engross with blogging, and everytime she came over, I’m glued in front of the PC, so I only manage to get my maid to entertain her.. and she stop coming for about 2 weeks.

Last Friday, the husband of this aunty came back and she has finallly got her own transport… and on Friday itself , she start to buy me lunch for me and my maid. Today again, she bought the maid and me breakfast and lunch. It makes me feel like as if I’m incapable of feeding my ownself and living under their mercy. I don’t mind lending my hand to help her when she needs the help, but I don’t want to be repay and certainly don’t want to owe her anything.

I hate to owe people gratitude. I’m tired of trying to think of her everytime I cook, I go out tar pau food, I go out do marketing .. I’m tired of thinking of how to return her favour. Sometimes being too nice can be quite irritating. Geram.
礼尚往来,来而不往,非礼也.I don’t understand why for most Asian, they don’t take “NO” as really NO, in fact they thought you are saying “CAN ALSO” in a polite way. That’s what I have told the aunty, NO NEED TO BUY ME FOOD!! But, still se will tar pau for me. Are they trying to be generous, so that when the uncle has gone back hometown, I can actually be more thoughtful to “look after” the aunty? There are so many things in my mind, my husband, my kids, my own errands, my blogs, my family that I can’t possibily be thinking of my neighbour every second. Really phobia when she comes knocking at my door!

Myth

WH has been doing this “stunt” quite often lately. MIL believes that when a baby start doing so, a baby brother/sister would be on the way…;D. Never heard of this myth before.

Whether a myth or not. We are actually quite ready for another addition to the family. The age gap would be just right for WH with the baby of at least 2 1/2 years. DH and me had agreed that 2 kids is just too little. 3 would be the minimum, 4 just nice. Of course 2 pairs will be ideal.

The only concern is whether I’m able to treat all the kids equally. Time wise and material wise. DH’s not a rich business man.. just makan gaji. If we were to have more kids, will I be able to provide all the kids the same lessons the first kid had enjoyed and also to get the same insurance coverages for all of them. Certainly it would be a burden finacially. Unless I stop being a “kiasu” mum.

PD Trip

We didn’t go back to KL this weekend and it can be quite boring to stay at Seremban, basically no place of interesting to go. Already went to Jusco in Seremban 2 on Saturday night. Sunday, no where to go. Instead of sleep the whole day and clued to the idiot box, dear hubby decided to take a drive to PD, he wanted to have seafood lunch there, particullarly crabs.

Left home about 11.10am, reached PD at 11.45am. JS was excited about going to the beach and she has been asking for it many many times since she heard about many stories of beaches I have told her and we never really got a chance to go.

Went around PD town, couldn’t really find any decent seafood restaurant, mostly not opened. Maybe they operate only at night and we don’t really know the place. After a few rounds, only manage to find two. So we settle at one … quiet restaurant, and we were the only customers. Wanted to order noodles/fried tanghoon… but they have none…so we have to settle with rice instead.

Ordered:
1) Green vege
2) Deep fried sotong
3) Steamed fish
4) Steamed crab
5) Egg fried oyster




The crabs are a real dissapointment. Skinny and not so fresh, as the flesh is not sweet. Again the whole meal not cheap…cost us about RM112.

After lunch, we proceeded to the beach. Dear hubby bought a kite for RM10, again JS has wanted it because she has seen it in Barney’s show. We just had a short stroll there for about 1/2 hour. As a paranoid and over protective parents, we found the weather too hot for the kids…afraid they would get sick. Brought JS to pick some shells too…not those spectacular one…only very simple and plain..yet she treats them like treasure…her very first shells!!

It was just a very short trip, to sastify JS’s “taste” of the beach, as she has wanted so much to go. We got home just in time to keep the laundry…as from very sunny weather when we left home, we brought home heavy rain the moment we reached the gate.

WH enjoying the feel of walking on the sand.
Prince and princess been shaded with the umbrella. Dear hubby teaching WH how to fly kite.
JS enjoying the beach…behind is the chalets of Avillion.

DH flying kite
JS’s treasures.

Jacket ..”Jatkut”?

Saturday night went shopping at Jusco, bought JS a new denim jacket. She loves it so much and refuse to take it down.

Next day went outing, let her wear it again. But as kepala angin as she always does, she doesn’t like it anymore.

JS: Mummy, why you buy this jacket for me
ME: Nice what..
JS: I don’t want lah
ME: You ask daddy and kakak nice or not
JS: Daddy, daddy, my jacket nice or not?
DH: Nice
JS: (not sastify..turn around to the maid) Kaaaak….ini jatkut nice or not?

Wonder how she translate the word jacket to jatkut…. make us LTROF. Eventhough the maid speaks english to the kids, but ever since JS started school, very often I heard her saying a word or two in Malay to the maid. Eg air tumpah, pecah, patah, bb kencing, hujan, marah, bola, berak, susu are common words she used.

JS’s Self Potrait

Kids do really have their own imagination. JS claimed this to be her self potrait