Another Long Dreadful Night

Another long dreadful night that makes me want to give up breastfeeding. I’m in so much pain, not only sore nipples but the whole body is aching mainly due to poor positioning when nurse lying down.

Last night I was having a hard time putting WH to sleep. He was latched on for more than and hour, wide eyes opened though we have already off the lights. Dear hubby already in deep slumber, even JS couldn’t wait for me to sleep with her and fell asleep without me lying beside her. WH isn’t feeling sick (the time that he find it difficult to sleep and need to be nursed longer), and he isn’t hungry ( fed him full bowl of porriadge plus snack for dinner, and he nibbled on our dinner as well, on top of that he requested for 4oz of milk twice before bed that made up to 8oz of formula), I just don’t know why he wants to be nursed for so long. Is it his growth spurt? Teething? Going to get sick? Now.. I have lost the cue. Usually he falls asleep quite fast, just a short while of nursing, he would be in deep slumber, or if he’s full from the formula, he would just suckle for a while and rolled over to another side and fall asleep by himself. What’s going on this past few nights??? I was sleepy, but I can’t fall asleep, mainly because WH hasn’t fallen asleep yet and also I’m not lying in my comfortable sleeping position and I have to change side nursing him when can’t bear the pain at one side any longer. His hands and legs are “kepiting” all over me. Inside me I was urging him to fall asleep fast, but end up taking more than 1 hour.

I want to wean him, I want to wean him, but the “kiasu-ism” in me just not really ready to do so. I haven’t reach the 2 years mark yet!! I felt if I give up now, it would be a sign of failure, because there are mummies that able to breastfeed well beyond 2 years and even tandeem nurse. How am I going to sooth him when he’s no longer nursing? Should I or should I not just yet??