It has been 2 days since JS ill behaved. But I still feel resentful towards her. I just can’t find the loving feeling towards her. I just don’t want her to near me. All I want to do is to ignore her or scream at every little thing she does. Whatever she does seems to be imperfect to me.
Because of her, me and hubby’s relation has became tensed over the 2 days. We have not yet patch things up , in fact we havent’ spoken to each other. I blamed JS for that.
I hate myself of having this feeling, I feel like crying. I know I’m wrong having this kind of feeling. I know I’m hurting her feeling and it’s causing more damage to her emotion, and yet i can’t help it. I can’t control myself. I know I’m sending her this confusing message that I no longer love her. I just want to let her know that her behaviour wasn’t acceptable and I’m not able to tell her in a nice way, instead I choose to keep punish her with me ignoring and talking to her in a very bad angry tone.
Only when she’s sleeping, I look at her innocent face that i want to caress and love her.
What’s wrong with me… Am I suffering from depression, because I have also lost of appetite and I cannot concentrate and I feel like having a bucket of tears to shed.
