This Is How We Communicate

Since WH has very limited set of vocub…here’s how he communicate with me

His cloth nappy loosen …he was holding it

ME: 你要小便? (you want to wee wee?)

WH: NO NO *shaking head* Drop…drop

ME: 给 MUMMY 看. (let me see) *oops..the clip loosen already..so tighten it for him)

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ME: 还要吃吗? (still want to eat?)

WH : ulll… ulll (as in full) , 饱饱 (patting his tummy)

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For 2 days he has been showing me a toy catalogue..but I failed to figure out what he wants.

ME: 我们没有这个Toy, 改天才买. (we dont have this, will buy another day)

WH: eh eh eh..(keep pointing to the toy and get a little frustrated)

ME: 你要什么？　带ＭＵＭＭＹ去看．　（what do you want? Bring mummy there)

WH: *hold my hand and let me to the living room, point to the toys up on the shelf, which are quite similar to the one in the catalogue)

ME: 你要这个？（you want this?) *pointing to one of the box*

WH: No no…*me point to another box* ..he happily nod his head.

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Whenever I want to get the maid to attend to him..

ME: ＂叫Kakak帮你．．．＂　（ask maid to help you with…)

WH: Mummy…mummy…..(he prefers me )

WH also knows how to instruct me to wear which pair of shoe when I’m about to go out with him….

Kids Miss Daddy Again

Hubby’s away for auditing the vendor…. kids misses him

WH look at daddy’s pictures on the wall

“Daddddy…..dadddy….”

Almost bed time

JS said:” Why so late already daddy still havent come back (though I have told her that hub would be away and she can sleep with me on my bed), I LOVVEEE my daddy so much”

Aren’t they SWEET?!

Turning Vegetarian??

This morning on the way to school, JS saw a truck load with chickens.
JS: “Mummy, where these chicken going?”

ME: “From the farm to the market”

JS: “Why to the market?”

ME: “So that the uncle can cut it and sell it and mummy and aunty can buy to cook it”

JS: “ooh..then the chicken will go pain pain and cry when we eat it”

ME:”by the time we buy it, it’s already dead, but they do cry when the uncle cut them”

JS:” I want to love the chicken”

On the way back from school

ME: “What do you want for lunch? Chicken rice?” (last night she told me she loves to eat chicken and wanted chicken rice today)

JS: “No, I don’t want. I want to love chicken”

Ended up having something else for lunch….just hope that she don’t come tell me she dont want to eat fish/beef/pork one day…..

Pre-School Teacher II

These are the qualities of pre-school teacher (more in Montessori style)

• A growing person. She must be involved in this process of becoming a person who has a realistic knowledge of self and be able to reflect objectively on one’s own capabilites and behaviour.
• Able to understand his/her relations with children
• She must aim to diminish their egocentric and authoritarian attidude towards the child and adopt a passive attitude in order to aid in the child’s development. Approach the child with humility recognising their role as a secondary one.
• To see children as individuals
• A dynamic link between the child and the prepared environment
• systematic observer of the child and an interpreter of his needs
• An experimenter, tailoring the environment to meet his perceptions of the child’s needs and interest
• A programmer, preparing the environment and keeping in perfect condition
• A peacemaker, consistently orking to teach courteous behaviours and conflict resolution
• A demonstrator, presenting clear and interesting lessons to the child
• A facilitator of communication among the children and of the child’s effort to communicated with her.
• A supporter, offering warmth security stability and non-judgemental acceptance to each child.

As a parent, we can also apply all this qualities into our parenting style and top with attachment parenting, I think it is the best a parent can offers to nurture a kids in their early years.

Pre-School Teacher I

I used to think that working as a Pre-school/kindergarten teacher is an easy job. Any SPM Form 5 school leaver will be able to pick up the job (at least that is what we seen in the job advertisement) and I think it would be even easier for the Uni grad and a mother, but my perspective change along the way while studying my course work.

Why do I have the earlier impression? Because my mum has been a pre-school teacher since she left school (She has her MCE, equivalent to SPM now) and some of her ex-colleagues back in our hometown only have LCE (eqivalent to SRP/PRM) certification.

Everyone have the impression that what a pre-school teacher does is just to make sure that a pre-schooler knows their ABC, 1-10 . That’s all about it a parent cares about. However , many failed to see that the early childhood phase is the most crucial part of life to what the child would be formed into. There is more things to be nurtured into the kids rather than just ABC, 123 and be very proficient in reading and writing. Many pre-school teacher lack this quality and ability in guiding the kids to be a well rounded personality. Many of the pre-school teacher do not care about the mental development of the kids.

In other words, most pre-school teachers are not trained.

Doing kid’s business is very lucrative this including of education side hence one see pre-school, nurseries learning centers blooming, but most of the teachers in these centers are not properly trained. Not many have the certifcation in Early Childhood Education. (Not to say the parents bothered about it) The turnover rate of the teachers are very high. Young girls dont usually stay long and most often treat teaching in pre-school as a stepping stone before they find their true calling on what they want to do mainly due to the salary not too attrative. There’s also a trend of pre-school teachers being some old mothers. Where they used to be housewife, but when the kids grew older, they start to seek for half day job, earning some pocket money and at the same time able to tend to the family (the mentality that I have). I don’t think they care much about the holistic development of their student. (Lately there are more early chilhood education course blooming for pre-school teacher wannabe which was not common as a Uni choice when I left Form 5..hopefully that will change the trend and quality of pre-school teachers in M’sia)

I remember I asked my mum once who has been in this teaching profession for almost 40 years now, do all the teachers in her center knows first aid. She said she doubt so and this is also one teacher quality that we are taking granted for. (my mum knows simple first aid and cpr because she was a very active girl guide but still she doesn’t have the certification, I doubt other housewife-turned-teacher or form 5 school leaver pre-school teachers have this skill)

And just 2 years ago, the HQ of the center my mum taught in changed all their school syllabus to in-house version. My mum was complaining about the syllabus especially the subject she taught in. The Mandarin workbook which is written by some Taiwan Expat Housewife-turned-teacher is not written according to pre-schooler standard. Mainly because these teachers who wrote the books are not early chilhood education trained. They do not understand the kids. My mum said “This books are written according to the standard of what the management/adults wanted the kids to achieve but not what the kids are able to do” This is such a sad case…true that the management is formed by PHD and master holders in other field but they have failed to see through the kids at the kid’s level. I suppose this does not just happen in this particular pre-school, but many other pre-school also going through the same thing, I see it in JS’s school syllabus..

A Bad Mother’s Reflection

I realize that almost everyday, there’s some point of time that I’m yelling, nagging or raising my voice at JS be it with a solid reason or not and each time after that I felt very bad about it. Each time I try to remind myself to be patient and do not let my emotion over ruled my action/behaviour towards her. (Yes..she’s always the scapegoat whenever my mood turn sour…and hardly her brother..why? I don’t know. Maybe she’s manja, maybe I’m expecting her to be understanding and obedient at her age). I’m certainly not biased as I love them equally.

Whenever I’m moody, especially when there’s misunderstanding between hubby and me and when I have hatred towards my MIL and SIL#1, I would be particulary harsh on JS even for a very meager thing she does that’s doesn’t seems to please me.

Instead of being fair and playing referree, whenever WH cries, I blame it on JS when I’m in a sour mood.

When I’m too tired and been stired and disturbed by JS in the middle of the night (maybe due to her nightmares or when she’s feeling unwell), I would push her back to her place in a very rough and irritated way and scolded her “Stop moving/stop kicking here and there..go back to sleep”)

Whenever she’s careless when feeding herself, dropping food drinks on the floor, I will raise my voice at her for being clumsy…. I know I shall give her a chance for her to perfect the skill of self feeding and guide her to be more careful.

Whatever little mistake she does that make the house in a mess, I can’t stop nagging her in a harsh tone instead of guiding her to do it in a right way.

I get particulary angry when she takes forever to finish her milk, or bite her fingers, peels her nails or scratches her legs and the nagging goes again….(She tends to put things in her mouth and peels her nails when she’s nervous)

Sometimes when she asked for something and I’m not in a mood, I would just reject her in a harsh tone without giving her any good explanation

When I bathe her and sometimes she get a little playful and accidentally splashes water on me, I give her a good scold instead of laughing it off and had a good fun with her.

When she asked for something and seek for attention and I’m too occupy o entertain her, I just told her off in an impatient tone that she should go play by herself.

Whenever I scolded her, I can see the very pity look in her eyes. It’s like I’m slowly killing off her pride. I feel like I’m putting a stop for her to be experimental, stopping her to express her needs and feeling. I’m denying her a chance to self correct from her mistake with my guidance. Suppresing her the needs to explore. There’s so much nagging from me of “NO, You can’t do this” “NO, You are wrong” “WHY YOU DO ….” “WHY cant you be….”

I am writing this down in hope of reminding myself to be more patient with her, to guide her in a more gentle way instead of being harsh on her.