Unfair

This is something that I have observed in the family.

Incident #1

When WH took JS’s toys to play, which she’s not playing and left lying there, most time JS’s not willing to share. What she does is kick up a big fuss and cry. All the time I will try to explain to her that she’s not playing and must share …bla bla blah but she just wont buy it…usually I will just leave her alone and let her cry….but if PIL, SILs and hubby’s around, they will say to WH this instead “WH…that’s jie jie’s things. Dont play. Come here.” hey…JS’s not playing la, why does the brother have to give in to her

Incident#2

WH toys…left there not playing. JS took and play and WH also wanted to play but JS refuses to share. WH cried. ME: “WH, wait for your turn, let jie jie play first, ok, just now you are not playing” other family members also go the same “WH, nevermind share share with jie jie first”

Incident #3

JS playing some toys, WH found it to be fun and wants to join in. JS refuses. Cry and kick up big fuss. ME: “JS, share with didi” still crying. Everyone just gave in to her and coach WH away.

Incident #4

WH took out something to play, JS found it to be fun, started snatching from WH’s hand. WH started crying. ME: “JS, you are not suppose to snatch…give it back to didi” I’m always firm and stern with my order. WH still crying…but other family members would say “WH, nevermind lah, let jiejie play for a while first” (never bother to take it back from JS’s hand also)

You see…fair or not like that? My parents will never be like that…but it’s very very different in hubby’s family. JS’s had the privilege of getting full attention for the first 2 years of her life (yeah la..a much awaited offspring of the family ma) and now she’s still the apple in their eyes. Each time when she behaves like that , I would usually be angry with her and ignores her and give WH more attention.

It’s hard to play the referee role. I love them equally, but I cant help to side on WH more and be more protective towards him because he doesnt get as much attention as JS from hubby’s family ( I can see and feel the different since his birth). I’m afrad that JS will think that I love her less and biase towards her brother (which is not true) and I’m also worry that if I tend to overly protect WH, he will become sissy and mummy’s boy and cant be manly enough to fence from himself.

So you tell me how la….