When We Are Not Talking… The Messenger

I must confess that our marriage and my relationship with my hubby is not always lovey dovey, honey and bee. Very so often we have disagreement and we quarrel (actually hor…usually quarrel on none important stuffs) and if big quarrel, we can go on not talking to each other for many days, not even sms, email or phone call (yea yea..I know this is not heathly, as we shall not sleep over the matter and must reconcile before bedtime)

Both of us also very “ai bin” , we are both very proud to give in to say sorry and admit that we are wrong… it actually just take a simple step to put down the pride and mellow down, but during big quarrel, none of us is willing to move a step back (of course  after a few days of cold war, I’m the one who approach him first !! That’s how Dai Lam Yan my man is..blame it that he’s a Leo)

Monday night we quarrel again for no particular reason and I had a big outburst. To think of it, we always wasting our time quarreling on no issue. Of course we didn’t talk after that.

Tuesday night, we were still in cold war. I didn’t even cook dinner. The house was dead quiet except the few little sound from the kids. For two nights we slept in different rooms. Again I wanted very much to say sorry , give him a hug and say “love you” (which was how I felt and still feeling so strong at this moment) but I was too proud to bend down. After I picked JS up from her mandarin class, I tar pau supper for him. Still didn’t talk to him and ask him to eat. Instead my little messenger/the middle man — JS lah, came in handy. I got her to go ask daddy to eat supper….. But it didn’t work, hubby still dont buy to my apologize that way…

Wednesday evening, after he got back from work, still no improvement. The two of us is still not in talking term. The kids would usually greets him excitely when he walks in the house, but that’s all about it. The kids never go near daddy without my prompting  (see ..how important I’m to bond the kids with their father) , they will stick to me like glue eventhough daddy’s home. Since I’m not playing the linking role for the past 2 nights for the kids to go near daddy , the house has been dead quiet.

I did cook dinner on Wednesday, but I didn’t call him to eat. I got JS to do so instead. “Go call daddy come and eat” I have also made juice, but still too proud to serve him “bring this juice to daddy, be careful” …again I get JS to serve him… he did eat dinner and finish the drink (which mean he’s not angry with me anymore la…i guess).

I think my poor man was really isolated and lonely at home. At least when we fight, I still get to talk to the maid and the kids at home, but for him under this circumstances he’s all by himself, very left out.

He must have so much to talk and so much that he wanted to tell me but again too proud to do so. JS came in handy again. Our messenger…. He told JS that he wanted to tell her story, JS as usual never really entertain/pay full attention to him. She was busy playing with my palm handheld, reading her books and flash cards and my poor man just keep on talking and talking. He kept saying “come la, daddy tell story” “Come la..daddy haven’t finish the story yet” What he told her was actually what happened during the day , the things he wanted to share with me. Again too proud to approach me, he use JS’s as a messenger and talks to me indirectly. I wanted very much to laugh…. to laugh at JS’s reaction as the parents put her in the role of being the messenger… I wanted to laugh because my poor man keeps talking and didn’t manage to stir an interest in his girl, I wanted to laugh at JS’s role as our messenger,  I wanted to laugh because my man sounded so pity that no ones talk to him…. but I refrain myself from laughing out….

OK..tonight we shall patch things up, I shall put down my pride to tell him how much I love him.

50 Ways To Tell If He Really Loves You

Some funny test from the magazine to test your husband…

1. He lets you use his new laptop. Unsupervised
2. He walks your white miniature pet poodle. In broad daylight
3. He holds your handbag for longer than a minute when you shop.
4. He lets you use his razor to shave your legs
5. He remembers your birthday- and what cake you like
6. he lets you drive his car.
7. He (sometimes) gives up the TV remote control and lets you watch what you want.
8. He thinks it’s funny (and isn’t threatened) when you use a picture of George Clooney as your work screensaver.
9. He offers to pick the kids up after school or enrichment classes so you dont have to do it everytime.
10. He carefully records Grey’s Anatomy for you- without the commercials-when you have to work late.
11. He sides with you over his mother (sometimes anyway)
12. He rubs your tired feet and listens to hte blow-by-blow accont of your bad day at work
13. He lets you nibble from his plate
14. He sends you text messages to cheer you up at work
15. He goes to the convenience store to buy your tampons.
16. He eats your homemade cake – including the black crust and hard icing. And askes for a second piece
17. He lets you keep your childhood collection of cuddly teddy bears on the bed
18. He doesn’t smirk when he sees you in your old T-shirt
19. He calls when he says he will.
20. He saves up to buy you diamonds.. instead of roses.
21. He peels the onions so your mascara doesnt run.
22. He dries the dishes while you wash up after dinner, so you can chit-chat together.
23. His favourite photograph of you is the one where you’re in jeans, a T-shirt and no make-up
24. He says your smile is cuter than Cameron Diaz’s
25. He lets you give him a pedicure
26. He spots that DVD you’ve been wanting to watch for ages and snaps it up for you
27. He admits you’re better at hanging wallpaper than he is.
28. He even volunteers that you’re a better driver..but only sometimes
29. He never dances in public..for fear of embarrassing you
30. He joins a gym with you, so you can stay fit together
31. He hasn’t worn his favourite cowboy boots since he discovered you can’t stand them.
32. He gives you a ksis each morning before he leaves for work
33. He agrees to go clothes shopping with you -even though he’ll miss his favourite TV show.
34. He waits patiently outside the changing room while you try on almost everything in the shop
35. He values your opinion and proudly quotes you to people or repeats your jokes at parties
36. He accompanies you to the supermarket on Saturday mornings to carry the bulging bags
37. He brings you flowers even if he hasn’t done anything wrong
38. He has two tickets to a major sports event. And there’s no one he’d rather go with than you
39. He willingly accompanies you to pre-natal class
40. He stays in the living room with you, even though you’re watching Bridget Jone’s Diary for the 10th times.
41. When you get a new haricut or outfit, he notices. (Okay, you may have to prompt him a little!)
42. He lets you take your time dressing up – and tells you how sexy you look after you’re done
43. He refrains from “scratching” while watching football on TV.
44. He offers to pick you up when you work late
45. He freains from eating chocolate in the house when  you’re on a diet
46. He takes care of everything when you’re in bed with the flu
47. He lets you share the last biscuit in the house
48. He doesn’t just roll over and go to sleep after you make love
49. He takes his turn being with the kids – from reading bedtime stories to taking them to the park on the weekend, so you can sleep in
50. When you feel the world is against you, you just know that he is on your side.

Out of the 50 questions some are irrelevant to me but I tried to improvised into my own situation. The result is that only 27 out of 50 I’m nodding my head. And I realize some of the things he does before marriage, he no longer do it now. I can’t help wondering if he doesn’t love me 100% …whether his loves have diminished over the years…. but to think again…27 out of 50 still not bad la, huh??? At least he still loves me la when I think he doesn’t anymore …like little things that he does for me that if not because of the questions, I might not have realize…

So, what’s your man’s score???

This Month SOOOO Pokkai…

Nov’s a Pokkai month….

Two wedding in this month…. one need to travel to Ipoh.

Hubby just signed the S&P and home loan…need to pay lawyer fees.

My car insurance and road tax due.

Need to pay RM400 for 2 unrelated subjects for my course, if I dont pay then wont able to sit for exam and then I wont get my diploma at the end of the course

Hubby’s car is due for servicing

Nov – SIL#1, MIL and my birthday

Nov 24 – Our wedding anniversary

I’m/we are so much poorer this month….how can I generate more $$$$$ (dont recommend anything to do with sales) …this is the time I so much wish that I’m have a stable job with good income.

Not Well..

For a few nights already that WH has not been sleeping through. He would wake up many times a night and would only settle back to sleep with me nursing him. Not too sure what’s wrong and not too sure if he’s hungry. Even during the day he has been very clingy and whingy just like a leech and superglue. Even when he’s not nursing, he would want to stick to me, hands and legs all over me like a spider….

Due to the lack of sleep at night, my “machine” also wearing down. This morning woke up with a head ache, sore throat and sneezing none stop. My whole body is aching and I feel like throwing up the whole day with minimal appetite  (nope..not pregnant) , when I stand up after sitting a while, I feel the surrounding spinning and a short moment of black out….

Can’t afford to be down now….. I need my beuty sleep..