Parenting Style

With the technology advancement today, many informations can be easily obtained. In my stereotype mind, I thought all educated parents are IT savvy and that they would obtained the latest best parenting style from the cyberworld.  I always have the impression that all educated parents should be pro-breastfeeding and practise attachment parenting. ( I have these impression maybe the parents I mingle with are all pro-breastfeeding and practise attachment parenting) It was like a shocker to me know to know recently that not all parents have the same mind and thinking as me and certainly have a very different approach in parenting.

Though a college or university grad, many still practise the parenting style of their parents or grandparents. (My mother never interfere with my parenting style, though I know her thinking is modern for her time, but now she admits that at that time, information are hard to get and some of the things she did were wrong and she only realize it now after reading newspaper now. My mum cut out newspaper cutting on the latest parenting style for my reference)

Many still think that Formula milk is better than breastmilk.  These parents will look at me as if I’m a alien who has breastfed and still nursing my 2 year old boy. Many think that the attachement parenting I’m practising will make my kids too attached to me and that I’m not training them to be indepedent and that I have neglect myself. I’m one who will bring along my kids with me everywhere I go. I got remark “wah… u bring your kids here ah?” ( The tone is like..see I left my kids at home and now I can enjoy the party..unlike you have to take care of your kids during this outing.)

 I know of a mother whose 7 yrs old is sent to day care after school each day and the 4 years old also to day care after kindy. Father working oversea. Grandparents staying with them to look after the kids after they return from day care in the evening and of course be the kid’s driver. School holiday approaching, grandparents wanted to balik kampung for holiday, they can only manage to bring back one of the grandkids as they not capable of taking care of both. The mother said “aiyo…i have plenty of work in the office, I cannot come home early to pick my son back from day care’. In my mind I was thinking “HELLO…THIS IS YOUR OWN SON. WHY PUSH THE RESPONSIBLITY OF TAKING CARE OF THE SON AND CHAUFFERING HIM TO THE OLD FOLKS’. The youngest kid has been staying with the grandparents in the kampung since birth, only move back to her parents home at age 3, even that the grandparents sascrifice leaving their own home and moved along with the 3 year old. If dont want to take care of kids…why give birth at the every first place. Career more important than kids? There are some mum who place their own interest on themself rather than on the kids.

Another SAHM of 3. Instead of taking care of the kids at home, she put all the 3 kids in nursery , kindergarten and after school care instead of looking after them herself. And she doesn’t cook… she caters! Her only task as a SAHM is to chauffeur the kids from one class to another. Her kids are attending various enrichment classes and is encouraged to attend various competition. All she cares about is how many medal and how many prices can the kids bring back.

I’m one parent who is zealous and send my girl to enrichment class, but I do not place high expectation on her to be the best of all. My purpose is for her to gain knowledge and not to show off that she’s the best and can win how many prices and competition.  It has never cross my mind that I can actually sent her in for competition since she has learned so and so. Only get to know recently that the purpose of other parents sent their kids to enrichment class is for the end result and how many prices the kids can win back.

One mother from the music class failed to supervise her kids to do homework. Week after week this pair of twin never do their music homework. It’s not that tough , I wonder why this mother cannot even spare that 5 to 10 minutes to guide the kids to do homework. I dont think it’s a very much request for just 10 minutes of her time for just one day of the week, the homework isn’t that tough actually… why bother to sent the kids to class if at home the mother is not willing to spent time to at least check their homework??? My maid see this case also shake her head on this mother’s attitude.