Frustrated

The internet is extremely slow to a crawl today, it’s even worst than yesterday. Frustrated when I want to try check out on all the $$$ making sites.  Can’t seems to be able to do a thing on the net. Worst still can’t even write my first post in my new site. *sucks!!*

Give up!

Updates On My Breastfeeding Journey

For once I thought my breastfeeding journey will never come to an end, I thought I still have a long way more to go. Each time I wanted so much to wean WH and each time when he showed slight sign on ready to be weaned, but it has never materialized.

Since he turned 18th months, there were a few occations that I wanted so much to stop but at the same time felt a little pity because my target was 2 years old. And then he turned 2, again I tried and hope to put it a stop. Still a little feeling of “sayang” to let go these special bond, but I’m getting embarrased with his comment and I feel a little uncomfortable now as he’s older.

I thought that he would self weaned during the 2 weeks absent. However, each night when I came back from class, the first thing he does is to cry to be nursed and he nursed all night long. After my workshop ended and we got back home, for almost 4 days, he clings on to me almost the whole day, latch on from morning till night, until I felt so tired and I tried to put “minyak cap kapak angin” (it’s spicy and i thought the smell will deter him and it’s actually not edible, but I was desperate to put a stop at that time)  in hope to deter him from latching on. When this attempt to stop him from nursing failed, I gave up hope to force wean him and accepted the fact that I will have to let him self wean.

It has been almost 2 1/2 weeks now that I see that he’s quite ready for self weaned. He has asked for milk more frequently and some day he doesnt even request to be nursed. Eventhough he does,  the time of nursing him has been cut down to the most 2 times a day and each time didn’t last more than 15 minutes.  Sometime when he asked, I even said ” no nen nen” and he’s just alright with the comment and didn’t insist like what he does last time. He no longer need to be nursed to sleep for nap and even at night. He would roll around in bed, talk to himself ( I even found him moving his little fingers on the bed as though playing on the keyboard and singing Do Do Mi Mi ) and then he will fall asleep all by himself.

Yesterday was a record. For more than 24 hours I didnt nurse him at all.

I’m quite ready emotionaly to drop this breast session. I’m glad that I’ll be in posses and in control of my body , have a good rest before starting another long journing of nursing  another little one. (if only there will be one ;P ) 

Monetizing My Blog

I want to monetized my blog, my current WP does not offer must flexibility on how I want to personalize my blog and I dont want to move back to Bloggers. The only thing that I can do is to move on to WP.Org

Still not too sure if it’s a wise move.  My blog is suppose to be a personal space of memory and my own thoughts, I’m not too sure how I will welcome the posts on ads and sponsored post. I dont really like the idea of having these posts “contaminate” my blog, but the $$$$ is just as attractive.  Though the amount might not be big, but at least it is something for a income-less home maker.

Maybe I shall segregate my blog. One for personal, one for my kids and one for parenting/education??? Really not so sure what I’m going to do as currently I post everything into the same blog, easy to maintain, my Chinese blog has almost been abandon… just dont have the time keep posting in 2 blogs.  With all the sponsored post, it will no longer look neat and personal…

How huh?? Cannot just let the chance to earn money go right???

PageRank

Since I’m working on getting a “new home” ( too excited to keep it a secret of having my own domain) , I went to check on my pagerank today.

To my surprise….my pagerank at…

Tada….

5

What an achievement…ahaha!!

No More Extra Classes

One more week, JS will start her new school term at a new school and I have also made up my mind to stop her extra night classes for Maths and Mandarin that she has attended few months ago.

I enrolled her to these classes during my “school hunt expediture”  and after I have pulled her out from her former pre-school (due to the dissastifaction I have with that school and how much she hated to go school and didnt enjoy much). When I pulled her out from school, I did home school with her but I know that homeschooling itself is not that healthy for her social growth, she still needs to learn to work in group and interact with others and be less dependent on me. Another reason for sending her to the Mandarin class is to build the foundation for her so that when she goes to a Chinese medium K1 next year, she won’t feel lost at not understanding bits of the language. Third reason being that she’s still acustomed to being away from me a couple of hours a day, three times a week, hopefully when the new school term starts she won’t find it hard to readjust to being away from me again. There’s no quarantee though..as she’s still very attached and clingy to me, but at least I made it not too long a gap for her to be solely with me during this period of time and the next school term. She left school in Oct, if she would to stay home with me for 3 months , I know by Jan she will find it hard to cope leaving me behind and go to school. Just want to make the transition less traumatized to her.

Now that my purpose has been served, I’m happy that she learns to speak some basic Mandarin and can understand the language, I see no reason for her to take extra classes at this young age anymore. I think the normal school hour will be just sufficient for her.

I wont say there’s no struggle for me to made up my mind. I never denied that I’m a kiasu mum. Inside my heart I tend to compare her with other kids and feel proud if she’s better than others (which mum doesn’t do that anyway?? Every mum does that!!) and I do have expectation from her. Of course I know it’s wrong for me to have this kind of expectation and comparison…especially I see her progress in Maths and Mandarin in this short period of time, I can’t help to feel a pity to let go instead of continuing.  Even when enrolled her for these classes, I didn’t had a clear thought of how long to go on. It’s 50/50. 50 said that I will not continue after the new school term start, another 50 was thinking to see how thing goes and will decide later and maybe will carry on with these classes on top of her normal schooling.

Anyhow I have made up my mind. It’s too high a price to pay, not in monetary term but her childhood.  I know I’m kiasu… I know I want her to excel. At the same time I’m also been intoxified by the comment that if one let your child have a relaxing early childhood and pre-school years, it would be hard for the kids to adapt when they enter primary 1 especially to a Chinese medium primary school. (There’s really such non sense). I’m also one super worried mother…worry that she would feel left out because we are going to enrol her to a very competitive Chinese school in the urban area where most her peer will be attenting many of these enrichment classes. (It’s so wrong for me to have worry like this, I shall be the one to encourage her and motivate her and support her instead of pushing her in the rat race like other kiasu parents)

Anyhow despite all my worries and kiasu-ness, I still get my senses back that these extra classes is really unnecessary and it’s putting a lot of stress on the young child. Though children have an absorbent mind and constantly thriving to learn, but the learning process shouldn’t be carried out in such way. It should be fun filled and stress free. It shouldnt just be school , tuition classes and home work and no time for other leisure.

I was reading Sunday NST on “Fun and books? Pre-schoolers just don’t have the time” , it’s such awakening article that pull me out from making such a big mistake of taking my kids childhood away with endless classes and homework. I really dont want to be part of the kiasu mum circle. I reminded myself that since the birth of JS, I had made a promise that I wont sent her for any tuition classes, at least not during the primary school years and I told myself that I want to coach and teach her myself. (there are people who said that it’s hard to teach your own kids, I wont deny that, sometimes JS do really drive me up the wall, but overall she’s still very good, but if my mum can tutor us herself, I strongly believe I can do so too). I had never gone for any tuiton classes during my primary school years, I had a stress free childhood, which is what I want my kids to have too.  I almost broke my own promise due to the influence of the environment. During Xmas dinner while SILs, JS’s godmother and me were having a casual chat, SILs related how stress free it was during their school time that MIL would say “no need to study so hard…go sleep early…bla bla bla” and yet both SILs are very successful now. With these I’m taking a step aback, to a more relaxing approach to JS’s learning pace.

To really think about it, it really make no sense and not worth to attend these classes besides it intellectual and academic benefits. Her normal school hour will be from 8am to 11.30am where we have to leave home by 7.30am in order to make it to school on time and by the time she comes home it would be likely 12pm already. I want her to have proper lunch and sufficient nap and also time to play outside in the evening. If I were to continue with these extra classes 3 times per week, I will be rushing like mad to cook early dinner and rush her to take her early dinner which she will definately miss out play time during the evening and family time with daddy. I personally feel that it’s important to have family meal together for dinner as bonding time.  And not forgetting there will sure be endless homework to be completed from school and extra classes, which will left her with no more play time. It will be too hectic for her if I keep sending her to these classes as she will not be able to have enough rest, spending more time on the road, rushing through her meals and having endless homework to complete. On top of that , if I keep sending her to extra classes, it will defeat the purpose of me doing my diploma course in Montessori, which my aim was for her to learn through play.

With these extra time free from extra classes, she will be able to learn through play which I’m going to apply what I’ve learn in Montessori on her. That will be more meaningful.

The music class will remain. Music is an extra skill and also it helps to develop posture and style.

Will reserve one more day for physical activity either self defense class, dance or swimming lesson. These are the activities that I’m not able to coach her and not equipped to do so.  Physical activity is important, not only for fitness and health, it will also make the young mind more alert, improve dexterity, posture, self esteem and concentration. Will look for a suitable class and location for physical activity for her, might not start next year, it might be later when the timing is appropriate.

Slow Internet Connection

Have been experiencing slow connection since this morning…almost impossible to surf to any side… but I’m surprise I’m still able to login to WP..trying my luck to see if I’m able to post this up.

The cause of internet disruption is due to the earthquake in Taiwan that caused damage to the link. Read here

Was it a sign, a cry out by mother nature or was it just coincident that major calamities always happened during Xmas time?

Electronic Game Devises

Kids nowadays are so lucky to have so much variety of toys to play with but again not all toys are benefiting to the kids. For one that hubby and me are particulary against  are the electronic game devises like those gameboy and PS Portable which can be so addictive.

Hubby finds it so annoying to see someone all head buried into the gaming devises during a gathering , to him it’s very rude and ill mannered and a act of anti social.

It’s not uncommon to see young boys caring a gameboy and PS Portable around everywhere they go, be it at a family gathering or a dinner occation at the restaurant. All they do is to isolated themself, sit in the corner and all hooked up with the games or sit around at the dinning table physically there but the mind and hands  on the game  and ignorant to what’s going on around them, all in the world of their own, as if the gathering is too boring for them to attend and participate. I have even observed teenagers, young kids who are busying playing games on their handphone or these games devices during dinner at eating outlets that when the food is served, there are still into the games and the parents have to serve them food.

In this world, in the community, no one can live in isolation. We need to interact with people all the time especially when one is out in the working world, you need to communicate with your boss, your management, your downlines, clients and customers whether you like it or not. Interaction and communication skills have to be developed, trained and build up since young. The young generation now are mainly very rude, ill-mannered, self centered and most of all dont know how to socialize, because they are not taught how to behave and socialize with others, they are not taught how to carry themself out to initiate a talk.

Family gathering should be a fun time where everyone sit around, chit chat and catch up…and not for one to sit at the corner and busy with gameboys. Meal time is for everyone to gather around and enjoy food. The young should learn the courtesy to serve the elderly but how many families actually enforced and practise these values. Burying ones head into the game devises doesn’t seem to be a big deal to the some parents.

It’s ok if one is alone in a public transport and emerged in the game. But when one is expected to be part of a circle, you cannot just merely make your physical pressence felt. It’s just too rude, you need to participate. It’s also as a respect to the host.

It’s just as bad as when a group of friends gathered together for a chat and one of the bad apple just sit down there, fingers never leave the handphone’s keypad, eyes never strayed from the handphone screen as if so busy with so many calls and sms-es… how would the host and the group friends feel?? It’s direspect to the host and making the host and friends feel that the outing is just too boring to catch that bad apple’s attention.

We vowed never to buy any game devises for our kids. We dont want to bring them up to be anti social and get all hooked up and addicted to this unhealthy devise.

Sensitivity To Order II

Maria Montessori discovered that children are at their height of sensitivy to order at the age of 1 to 2. She stated that a child shows the need for order in several ways:

1.  He shows a positive way in seeing familiar things
2. Children insistence on putting things back in their place
3. Crying or throwing tantrums to unfamiliar places or people

She cited on example:

“I found myself one day with a group of people going through Nero’s grotto at Naples. With us was a young mother with a child — about one and a half years old – too small to be able to walk the whole length of the way. In fact after some time the child grew tired and his mother picked him up, but she had overestimated her strenght. She was hot and stopped to take of her coat to carry it on her arm, and with this impediment once more picked up the child, who began to cry, his screams growing louder and louder.

His mother strove in vain to quiet him, she was plainly tired out and began to grow cross. Indeed the noise was getting on the nerves of all, and naturally others offered to carry him. He was passed from arm to arm, struggling and screaming, and everyone talked to him and scolded him, but he only grew worse.

I thought of the enigma of infancy, of how reactions must always have a cause: and going up to the mother I said, “Will you aloow me to help put on your coat?” She looked at me in amazement, for she was still hot; but in her confusion she consented and allowed me to help her on with it.

At once the baby quieted down, his tears and struggles stopped, and he said “Mamma, coat on.” It was as if he wanted to say, “Yes, Mamma, a coat is meant to be worn”, as though he thought of it, ” At last you have understood me” and stretching out his arms to his mother he came back to her all smiles. The expedition ended in complete tranquillity. A coat is meant to be worn, and not to hang like a rag over one arm; and this disorder in his mother’s person had affected the child as a jarring distrubance”

I can totally relate to the above incident that Maria Montessori had encountered. A few weeks ago, we were having dinner at BSC and the restaurant was quite cold and since I was having a flu, I brought along a sweater. The moment I put it on, WH made a great fuss and tried pulling my cardigan. Remember what I have read in the book, I know he’s showing his sensitivity to order and I quickly took off my cardigan and he was all smile and happy , though the grandparents and aunty kept telling him that he should let mummy put on the cardigan.

The same thing happened again last weekend. SIL and me were out shopping for cloths, while I was changing in the fitting room, each new piece of cloth I tried on, WH is wailing and crying out so loud and he gave me such a pitiful look with so much tears flowing. ( I felt a little embarrased !) SIL was jokingly saying that he’s such a “jakun” and “sakai” , of course I knew the reason of him behaving so,  all I could do was to cut short the fitting time and quickly choose 2 pieces of new cloth and quickly put on my cloth. After that he was all quiet and happy, running around in the shop.  If I have not known about Montessori philosophy, if I have not known about the sensitivity to order, I guess I would be loosing my patient and get very irritated by his behaviour. I’m so glad that I have the knowledge and be able to understand what’s in his little mind.

Not only these 2 incidents , I also realize that he’s able to keep his all the things back to the original place and also the sequence on how he arranged his toy cars. (earlier posts- here, here)

Montessori noted that :

the child has a twofold sense of order. First is external, his relationship with the environment and second is internal; an awareness of the different parts of his own body and their relative. The need for order is evident in the child from about 1.5 years. During this period, the child manipulates his environment and moves objects from one place to another.

Order consists of recognising the place each object in relation to his environment. It is not objects in place that he is identifying through his sensitivity to order but the relationship between objects in the environment.

The child’s need for order is different from that of an adult. Order provides an adult with a certain amount of external pleasure. But for the child, he needs order in the environment because he is constructing himself out of the element of the environment.

So mothers with young babies out there, if your child started to fuss and cry for no apparent reason, please do not blame the child and get irritated, but first check out what is new in the environment or was there any changes …maybe it’s your new hairstyle, a new perfume or a new dress that has cause a little disturbance in your little ones…..we adult have to be sensitive to our child’s cues as well.

Christmas Feast

SIL#2’s a Catholic, so we celebrated Christmas with her and invited JS’s godparents for a feast on Xmas eve at SIL’s house. JS’s godparents didn’t manage to make it to her birthday dinner and hence we invited them to come along for Chritmas.

We had a feast and most food are prepared by SIL#2 and JS’s godmother (JS’s godmum was SIL#1 primary school classmate, she was also JS’s babysitter for 1 1/2 years before I started working from home and subsequently a SAHM. She’s an excellent cook.. it’s another long story how grateful I was been having her as JS’s executive babysitter)

  The kids cant wait to open up the prezzies… hubby allowed them to go for the first round of unwrapping present in the morning.

JS with grandfather and godbrother

 Baked potato, sausage, Baguette for garlic bread

 The yummy turkey, served with cranberry sauce.

Grilled lamb chop

 Chicken pie & warm salad

Didn’t manage to take the pic of the seafood pasta, the baked mushroom and cold salad. There were so much to eat plus dessert, wine and champange.

The “makan” family

 one lovely tree to compliment to the christmas mood.

Kids busy with another round of unwrapping prezzies…I guess they each received about 7 gifts. They are having such a jolly good time.

JS catching up with her Kai Ma

More Xmas Craft

The last batch of crafts we did before we headed home on Saturday afternoon.