Site Down Again

Can you believe this???  My site is down again without any warning. Bugger….what’s is wrong with this web host!!!  I can’t finish my task, and I have post not being approved by advertiser… if they cannot access my site… I’m going to loose money again. Damn…  Really have to change host before my term with him expired.

And my host reply this :

The server is suspected to get attacked and it’s now suspending account one by one to investigate the incident.
Your website will be unsuspended very soon as the investigation will take maximum a few hours.

I really feel like crying… why is this happening to me again. Damn…. another day loosing my money. Don’t know how long it takes for the site to be up.

HELPLESS… LOST…..

I Still Feel Damn Blardy Pissed

Yes…that’s how I’m feeling now….. how come it take so long for the support to get back to me… at least give me access to my site. I have been sitting in front of the PC , refreshing the screen , hoping to see some lights and solution , but there is NOTHING … NOTHING…. makes me want to curse and curse …. and I’m so tension now sitting in front of the pc and can’t do much.

I don’t and never expect this to happen by hosting my site on my own domain…..I’m not ready for this and it really makes me furious with the speed of support. ERGGHHHG… really in a killer mood.

Gossip & Bitching Post

I got to know a mummy from a parenting group years ago when JS was still a baby. This girlfriend of mine left her husband shortly after the birth of her 2nd daughter which was born the same year as WH.  The reason why she left her husband is because she thinks her husband couldn’t provide her with materialistic goods. Her husband is a site supervisor, has a car and a double storey link house, though the money that he brought home each month is about 3k, but this girl friend of mine is not satisfy with that, that’s why she left.

We seldom keep in touch, as hubby thinks she can be a bad influence to me. But I know over the past 2 1/2 years , each time we do catch up through MSN, she’s with different man.  She change her partner so often and she even brag that she double or multi dated and sleep with different men at the same time.  One of her bf sponsored her for a booby job.

Few days ago, she MSN me again. This time she is with another man and they living in together and they have only been together for 6 months ( Which mean I haven’t chatted with her for more than 6 months liao) . This one obviously is a old man (40 ++ ) my friend is 29 this year , a divorcee with a 10 year old son.  Anyhow her two girls age 5 and 3 , she left them under the care of her MIL in Ipoh while she works in KL.

She has been complaining to me that how difficult her elder girl is and how slow she’s catching up in school and has behaviour problem. In my heart I was thinking “of course la…no parental love and care , in a broken family, how not to have behaviour problem. My friend kept asking me on JS progress and development, how much she can read, spell , count and she said her girl already can spell ONE to TEN and those with “TEEN” behind also can spell…blablabla. If her daughter is so good , can spell and read, why is she still worried? Kiasu parents setting so high expectation on her kids but never care of how the kids feel. 

I still remember years ago, she would keep asking me what brand of formula I used, what’s JS’s milestone and development, what brand of diaper, milk bottle I used . And now.. it’s what school etc etc. She said she wants to sent her girl for private tuition and extra class… and has been asking me about what is good what’s not, she said she might want to move her girl back to PJ with her, but I really doubt she will have the time for her girl when she’s so busy with her man. Actually very sickening to befriend with kiasu mother like that. I also remembered she used to ask how much I earned and hubby earns , she always envy others whose husband earns alot. She thinks money is all and only buy the most expensive for her kids. But c’mon la…. kids dont really know how to appreciate that….. children need loves , nurture and to be brought up in a nice cosy loving family.

By the way , she’s still legally married to her husband, coz her husband refuse to sign the paper and she on and off kept in touch with him and she told me the husband is not doing so good. (maybe as in not earning enough $$$$ to her standard).  And I just don’t know how she can still keep in touch with her so call in-laws and ask her MIL to take care of her kids, when she’s out having fun, sleeping around with different man, a woman who does not fulfill her role as a wife and mother. Doesn’t she feel ashame when facing the in-laws???

@Week 12

I’m suppose to update this a week earlier. But I was a little lazy and caught up with paid posts. Now I don’t even have access to the blog to do this. I’m recording it down here , so later I can transfer to Montessorimum.com

OK..I’m in week 12 of pregnancy now. Toward the end of the first trimester already. I went for my 2nd prenatal check last Saturday night. I’ve put on 2kg in a month but blood pressure and other thing normal.

Got my blood test result on that visit too. Everything ok, except haemoglobin count a little low. Almost anaemic , that explain why I feel so tired most time and why sometimes I feel faint and almost blackout after sitting or squatting down for a just a short while.

Did an ultrasound scan too. This time we can clearly see baby and the baby’s heartbeat. Growth normal. Baby has been very active. We saw baby moving around in the womb. The kids was that too. In fact baby was bouncing around in the womb and JS said “doink like a grasshopper”.

I’ve actually felt baby’s movement at week 11, but never gave much thought to it because it wasn’t frequent. Only at certain angle that I’m lying down I felt it. It’s like muscle twist or a little butterfly flap. But this week onwards, I can feel it more. The movement is stronger , it’s always on the left side of my lower abdomen and baby is extremely active in the evening and at night.

I have special cravings now like fruit rojak and also durian. I’m not a fan of durian…but now when I smell durian smell I couldnt resist of eating it.

I think my bump is slowly showing too. Slowly but surely. Last week @week 11, I still feel fat, in fact for a while I forgotten that I’m pregnant. (Unlike my previous pregnancies, I wasn’t that obssese with the weekly growth). Some of my cloths are tight already. But this is such an embarrasing stage that I’m too early for maternity clothings and the normal clothings won’t fit comfortably.  So have to wear some plus size hand me down tops from SIL. Not very flattering though. Now I’m in dillema on what to wear for my trip…. and SIL said…bring a nice baju…we going to dine at an expensive restaurant…..HHHmmm…what am I going to wear.

I Still Have Reader Here!

Since I’m not able to access Montessorimum.com and am currently in the MOOD TO KILL , so I just rant rant rant here in my old abandone blog. I never thought that anyone will visit me here again but surprise surprise….some of my reader still found their way back here after my site hosted in my own domain is down and they get to read the latest update here.

These are really my loyal “fan-si” . Bright up my day a little. Thanks hor …to Tracy & Shireen for dropping by.

What I Hate Prior To Travel

I loves travelling… but travelling with kids is another story.

What I hate most??

1) When the kids fall ill prior the trip or during the trip

2) PACKING. Yes, I hate packing and I usually leave it till last minute. There are just so many things to bring along. Extra clothings, their “bantal busuk” – which they cannot sleep without, milk powder, sippy cup, water, flask… endless thing to pack.

Ok….I better go start packing now

Will Be Travelling And Yet She’s Sick

Will be flying off tomorrow for a 5 days vacation trip. My most worry and fear is the kids fall ill anytime prior to the trip. I have been extremely careful with their diet for the past one week, in fact I even thought of quarantine JS at home from school for this week, but it’s not so practical.

Been given her supplements , make sure she doesnt take heaty food, watching her diet careful, make sure she’s warm and doesn’t catch cold, but on Wednesday, I spotted JS having slight flu. Yesterday was holiday, she stayed home, flu got worst. Brought her to doc last night and skipped her music concert.

Asked for a stronger medicine and today got her to rest at home. But the flu seems to get worst. I’m really worried, coz each time after flu sure follow by cough and asthma. Just a sound of cough now sent me off the chair and put me on high alert.

I dont know why her immune system is so low despite given her all the supplements. It has been like that since WH’s hospitalization and JS insist of spending a few nights there with us and ever since then she became weak.

I hate to see her suffers. I don’t mind taking care of her if she falls sick during weekdays , away from in-laws spying eyes. But the worst is she tends to fall sick during weekends , or when we want to get away for a trip. My MIL and SIL always think that I’m not a good mother and doesn’t know how to take care of my kids. They blame me when my kids fall ills. Of course I don’t feel good and I blame JS for causing me being blamed. This is the part I hated most.

One more thing is I dont know if it’s “pantang”, each time we let JS knows in advance that we are travelling, she would fall sick a day or two prior to the trip. The last trip, she fells ill on the day itself, the next day, we spent whole day resting in hotel and seeing her suffer from asthma and visited the doc twice in a day for nebulizer. It’s really no fun at all.

I try not to tell her earlier about this trip, but somehow she saw daddy packing and enquires about it. Since she knew we are travelling, she fell sick straight away. Coincidence???

I hope she gets well tomorrow. I’m extremely worried now and hope she won’t get cough or asthma tomorrow. Putting my finger cross and I’m praying hard that WH won’t get the flu bug

I’m In Such A Bad Mood

I have not been in such a bad mood. I want to scream …. and my poor girl always kena from me… it has been a while that I get so irritated with her easily.  I feel sorry for her, but I can’t control myself.

I really feel like banging my head agains’t the wall now…. how come I’ve such a bad mood.  I hate things not to be under my control. I HATE THAT MY SITE IS STILL DOWN. I’M PAYING MONEY TO HOST MY SITE and THIS IS WHAT I’VE GOT!!!!! @##%$^^$&^&%

I’m feeling so bad not only because of the money lost, but also I’m running out of time. We will be travelling tomorrow and it’s most likely I wont be able to come online for the next one week. Though I might consider bringing along the laptop, but I don’t think I have the time. I need to clear off those rejected paid post and resubmit it by today before I go off. It’s already Friday…. I dont think I have the time to even logon tomorrow morning. Real Shit. Makes me want to curse

Blog On Own Domain

It’s not as easy as I think. I never expect this type of down time. At least I have not encounter this with wordpress.com or blogger.com . Any downtime at least we blogger were informed earlier…. usually the site is still accesible but the author not able to post and admend.

Now my site is totally down. I can’t login, other people can’t access. I really hate this very much.

It’s my mistake of not checking throughouly of what other hosting packages or company is available. I hate this type of downtime.

Of course when you have your own domain, you are also having the responsiblilty of doing the backup…

It’s not really that fun.  *sucks* actually. But what to do…for the sake of making money…have to bear with it for a while… seriously thinking of changing host

The Kids Miss Daddy

Hubby has been quite caught up with work lately, working long hours not only during weekdays but weekends too, and I think they kids miss their daddy very much.

On nights that hubby comes back late, the kids would ask me where’s daddy, why daddy hasn’t come home or whether daddy is coming home at all.

Last night hubby came back late again.

JS: “Why daddy hasn’ t come back? The sun has gone down already”

ME: “Daddy busy with work, will come back later”

JS:” Tomorrow I want to wake up early and say goodbye to daddy and kiss daddy before daddy go work”

Yes, hubby left home early each morning before we get up, I used to get up early occasionally to make him breakfast, but lately I just couldn’t get up that early though I wanted to badly. My body just won’t obey my mind. Which I felt quite guilty about.

This morning, very early, I think it’s only 6.45a.m

JS woke up and asked me ” mummy, today need to go school or not?”

Me : ” No need, holiday today”

JS: “but where is daddy?”

Me: “Gone to work”

JS: “But why daddy has to go to work, I’m not going to school”

Me: “Because daddy got no holiday today”

I think at that time hubby was just about to leave home. JS already sobbing, told me she wants to go say goodbye and kiss daddy. She ran to the living room and called out to daddy, I can hear that her tone is quite sad, as though she’s going to cry.

In the afternoon, WH playing with toy phone while JS on the pc in the room. I heard WH calling daddy over the phone

WH” Daddy, you go office or not” “Daddy, daddy”

Then he said to me ” Daddy no talk to me”

It breaks my heart when he says that. I hope hubby gets to read this.