爱情与面包 Love Vs Bread

在爱情与面包之间, 你到底会作出怎么样的选择? 是否有了爱情就没有面包, 有了面包就没有爱情? 没有面包真的不能存活吗?就没有幸福吗?多少人懂得珍惜, 多少人会知足?又有多少人能同时间拥有爱情与面包?
(In between love and bread, how would you make your choice? Is it right that if there is love, there won’t necessary be having bread , or when there is bread, there is no true love? Without bread, is it true that you can’t survive? Can’t you have happiness without money? How many people knows how to treasure what they have and how many people knows how to be contented? And how many people are lucky enough to have both bread and love?)

What triggered me to write this post was that moment ago I caught up with my friend T again. From the conversation, it sent me into deep thoughts, gave me a lot of puzzlements and keeps wondering and if I have a weak heart, maybe I would have a heart attack already. (Sorry T, if you are reading this, don’t meant to put you in the lime light. It’s just that this thing keeps twirling in my mind that I have to let it out. It’s your choice, I don’t want to judge whether it’s brilliant or not, you decide yourself and I wish you all the best)

Extract of conversation between T, Y and Me.
T: hi E
T: how r u
E: how’s life T?
T: great
E: how’s ur new job??
T: not too bad, basically surfing and reading papers
T: get to chat
E: kids in ipoh??
T: nope
T: they are down in kl with dh
E: u all ok liao??
Y: ohh what they doin in kl?why there?
T: take care of dh lor
E: N go to which school?
T: nearby L’s place lor
T: in fact she just started y’day
T: stopped for one mth
T: thinking of let her take tuition to pick up
T: wat do u guys think
T: she missed few alphabets
T got exam next mth
E: u siow ah..so young take tuition
E: dun stress ur child lah
T: she missed out mah
E: sure will pick up one lah
Y: over load her tiny brains lah
T: to catch up only
T: she missed a lot
E: exam only ma..no need to stress and fuss lah
T: i am thinking of getting a maid?
T: wat do u guys think
T: pity my mil
E: ooh..ur mil with ur dh
E: where u staying now T?
T: K, GH
T: later will be moving to KD so K can complete his reno
T: he let me stay at his new place cos i din have a place
E: ooh..got new love nest
E: plan to tie the knot soon?
T: not so soon gua
T: actually i dun wan to remarry but no guts to tell him
T: i wonder if he could ever take it
T: he is 34
E:y dun want to remarry??
T: accountant
T: nah….
T: scared dy
T: no confident
T: no more pregnancy for me
E: ur separation procedure final?
T: nope
T he always say no money
T: for lawyers fee
E: need money meh? how much u ask for?

T: legal fees
E: no money is excuse.. dun want to let go lah i think
T: not i wan
T: i dunwan anything
T: yah, i agree
T: he just sent me a sms not to long ago said i will be the only woman in his life and he misses me
T: damn
T: feel like crying
T: i can still cry when i think of him
T: it still hurts
T: he is a nice husband
T: a loyal one
E: how come like that ..so complicated
E: go back to him lo
T: just not doing too well financially
T: nah i can’t
T: K is too nice to me too
E: how long u with K liao? met in previous work place?
T: there is no future for me and the kids with L
T: yes
T: a mth
T: things he did for me….
T: can’t just forget about it
T: he got me out of the nite job
E: what nite job?
T: he is basically supporting me financially
T: i can’t handle it alone
T: tat is why i had to work at hnite to make ends meet
T: cos at nite is like almost double my current pay
T: with tips and free ciggarettes probably more
Y: wow didn’t know nite club pays so much wan
Y: but u gotta wear sexy sexy ar?
T: i dih work in nite clubs lah
T: i work in a healthy pub
T: casual sexy
E: ur bf single n never married b4?
T: single
T: life was hard
T:: this is in fact the first serious relationship i mean after i left the guy i left L for
Y: what happened to the guy lah?
T: still in touch
Y: cradle snatcher man
E: is that the one that gave u the tag heur
T: yes
T: i gave him back
Y: where u meet wan?
T: disco lor
T: in fact i still have some strings attached
T: i have one spore bf
T: one kuantan bfy
T: still not yet tell them
Y: waaahhh all from disco?
E: i tot u have ur priority on family n kids
T: but i’m for real with K
T: cos he got money
Y: how much does he earn a month?
T: 5 figure lor
T: but exactly i dunno
T: i only know his income from one side
T: cos he got two
Y: u never asked meh?
T: nope, never, too early, will scare him off
T: he works for one co and own one himself with his buddy

看了以上的对话, 你的感想如何? 你会为了物质上的享受而忍心抛下稚小的孩子吗?自己的欢乐比孩子还要重要吗?虽然不管我的事, 但这还是困绕着我. 想到无辜的孩子, 因为母亲的虚荣而失去了一个美满欢乐的家庭.金钱能弥补心灵上的创伤吗?对孩子脆弱的心灵又会留下什么阴影?平庸的生活没有乐趣吗?如果早知自己的男人无法满足要求, 为何当初要嫁, 还生两个小孩, 让孩子受罪,拖累他们? 荣华富贵真的那么重要吗?朋友的丈夫有屋让她遮头,有车接送,有份正当的工作,安稳的收入,难道就没有好的将来吗?

我觉得平淡有时会比繁华更幸福.更不会让自己陷入复杂的旋涡里.闹得不清不楚,糊里糊涂.有多少人理解”知足长乐”这道理.

在以上谈话后,感触良深.我以为朋友T会有所保留,也不敢直接多问.但我很惊讶她的坦诚,语气中没有廉耻,羞愧甚至还带有一丝丝自豪.感慨万分.T的两个孩子和我的孩子们同龄,有点心疼.T的母性在哪里?是否自私了点?换成我,我可不忍心我的孩子们受这样的苦.一样米养百种人,也不可能期望每个人能甘心为孩子为家庭牺牲.愿上苍报佑这两个孩子. 总觉得他们很可怜.

感慨之后还是感慨.也不能做什么.每个人都有自己的选择.每个人都有自己的梦,自己要走的路.或许T现在认为这是最好的选择,是值得的.希望多年以后她回首现在,不会后悔.

广东人说”做人中,做人保,不做媒人三世好”,我这个局外人,还是少理不理好.在我的”簿落格”里我写我思,也就罢了. 你说呢?

(Sorry, 2nd part of the post is my own view. The KPC side of me giving me the urge to gossip this. This is only for Chinese reader. Too lazy to translate into English, but you can tell me your views too)

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: