Last Sunday, on Star Dear Thelma’s section, letter from this guy.
He’s in late 30s, married for 10 years, has 2 young kids. He’s working in China, while the family remain in M’sia. He admitted that he has a great wife, who takes care of the family and kids well, confident and capable and independent and inspired him to advance himself, the wife is the opposite of his parents who are illiterate, womaniser and a mum who was not good at house chores. The wife a SAHM, taking care of 2 kids alone in hometown. The only problem is that the wife cold not get along with this man’s family (can’t stay under the same roof, and the family does not like this women). This man said that due to the intolerance of the wife towards his family, his love for his wife flatuated and he stop calling home. ( Eventhough he’s in china, the wife still brings the kids to visit the grandparents. Is this what you call intolerance??) He even started an affair with a chinese woman. Wife found out about affair, but man did not apologize, instead blaming the wife of invading his privacy. Man home for a visit without informing wife, but wife still perfomed his wifey duty of providing place to stay and food. Yet, this man is complaining the wife treated him like a guest more than a husband.
C’mon man, the man is wrong at the first place, and yet he got the guts to complaint. I was wondering, why in the first place he started the affair and using the lame excuse of that the wife is intolerance to his family? Why do men blame their wifes when they stray? Before they do anything STUPID, don’t they at least think of their children first? Or it just doesn’t cross their mind?
Few months ago, my godbrother also confessed that he had an affair. His work requires him wo stay put in US a few months at a time. To me, he’s such a loving husband, a family man. He has got two young daughters around my kids age. I just couldn’t believe it when a SYT is in front of him, he just couldn’t think straight. Just like any other man ( excluding my dear hubby, at least at this moment) his excuses was his wife. He claims that before he started the affair, he already got marriage problem and they always argued. Hell, if you got problem, work it out, why do you need to start an affair and make things more complicated. Now he wants to make up with his wife, but the hurt that he has cause his wife will take years to heal and of course the trust that the wife has been given him also shattered. It is certainly not fair to his wife. Why can’t men think before they act? Men are so greedy, they find excuses to have fun, to have an affair but they won’t want to let go their wife.
I know , I know. Not all the women are goody goody. My girlfriend T, strayed too. I don’t know what happen to her now. When I first got to know her from a parenting group, she gave me an impression that she’s a mum that puts her kids interest before hers. The kids was her priority. At one point , she even decided to quit her job together with me and be a SAHM. But when I quit my job, she has got a better job offer and job hop ( She’s a “sexy-turkey”) , from then on, she started to groom herself, and slim down a great deal. She looks so much more attrative. Two months after she started her new job, she told me she’s got marriage problem. Initially I thought is her husband that has strayed and she didnt talk much about it. Then few months later, she sms-ed me and said that she wanted to show off a bit. She told me she’s got a new camera phone, a new car to drive ( before that she never owned a car) and a new tag-heur as a birthday gift. T’s hubby work as a site supervisor. She need not say more that I know she’s the one who has betrayed her hubby. She has also left her two young daughters behind with her MIL in her hometown. I was puzzled, how could a woman with kids stray?? Surely, you love your hubby enough to get married and have a family. Why after years of married only realize your hubby can’t provide what you want, why let the kids suffer?? QUESTION MARKS STILL!
Seeing so many failed marriage, I treasure my hubby alot. Eventhough we have our ups and downs, we will just have to keep trying to make things better. Dear hubby meant a lot to me. 🙂