The Visiting ILs

December 26, 2014

I had the lousiest Xmas in my whole life. Been feeling extremely down, lousy and depress for the past three days. The days since the ILs visiting.

We have just moved in to this new condo unit on the 28/11. Right after a week of moving in, we went back to KL to for 11 days to settle some matter left in the city. By the time we came back to Penang, it was just a week before Christmas. Come to thing of it, we were barely settled in our new place before the ILs visit. Though I have tidied the house and put everything in place and it does feel like very much homely, but the realistic is we are not quite settled. But the big fat SIL suggested to bring PIL over to spend Xmas here. She had made this plan even before we moved in and when we were back in KL for that 11 days, she made a trip to buy the waterproof protector sheet for my king size master bed so that FIL can sleep in MY room, MY bed. Do I have a say? Can I turn them down and say don’t come? No… blardy hell, I have no say in this household.  I am a no body and hub is a SUPER filial son. ( Is it good or is it bad.  I am unwilling.. on top of not having a say, I don’t want to set bad examples for the kids. I don’t want to plant bad karma that when I am old, my kids will ill treat me or ignore me)

What was our arrangement for their arrival?  Now, we have downsized our home from a double storey terrace house of 2000 over sqft with 4+1 rooms , 4 bathrooms to a 1,200 over sqft 3 rooms, 2 baths condo unit. Space is reduced by half, rooms are smaller in size by half. We used to have a guest rooms just for the PIL in our old house. Well, before we shifted in and when we were doing up the house, we have always prepared to have guests over to stay. We have talked over about it. Hub and me had agreed that shall HIS parents come over, then we will let THEM (both FIL and MIL) to have the masterbedroom, where we will be flexible to just have makeshift bed anywhere or just bunk in with the kids. I was quite ok with this arrangement. We had that in mind… we are prepared…

To be frank, I have never been very closed with the ILs. I respect them, I can talk nicely to them, I treat them well with good manners and courtesy but very often,  I wish they can just leave me alone.  Sometimes I have a lot of relunctance in me, eventhough at surface I am showing them my smiley face.

My FIL health conditions is deterioting daily. He has alzheimer’s , he is weak, barely can walk. He has very strong body odor and he doesn’t bathe. Refuses to bathe and he has problem control his bowel movement, he has weird habits, he gets shock and scared easily, he is extremely paranoid with the kids safety. The wife and daughters find him dirty. The wife, my MIL though look after him, but with complains and have separate pails to wash his belongings. He has his own room and bed at home. He doesn’t share a room with MIL.  Now, here I am having to let him sleep in MY room, MY bed. I keep thinking, why me? Will both of his daughters willing to give up their bed for him? I doubt so.

Fast forward to their arrival on 23/12.  I was informed of the time they left KL. I was informed by hub their arrival time. I was informed by hub when they were near Ipoh. I was prepared, though not very please but I know I shall be welcoming and showing my respect. But my displease were further induced by the big fat SIL. She was so annoying. I don’t know how many times she has to call me to inform me on every of her location after they reached Ipoh. As if someone important is coming to my place, as though some royalties are coming and I have to roll out the red carpet. I was already waiting, I was prepared. Why can’t they just come straight to the place, registered with the guard and I would and definitely be there for them already. Does she has to inform me on such a frequent basis? Annoying to the max!!!  Hub was working that day, it had been raining for days and you know what, the hub wants me to go pack lunch for them for a particular place, particular stall just for them. I dragged the four out with me in rain to tarpau.

The moment she arrived, she started giving orders and commands and bossing people around. She can’t even talk nicely to her own mother and husband!!! Extremely RUDE and she has always been like this since the day I got to know hub but it is getting worst.

With all the luggages, everyone were up at the condo unit. Before everyone can sit down nicely and settled in, she commanded and questioned me, “WHERE IS THE EXTRA MATTRESS FOR MUM? SHE DOESN”T SLEEP WITH DAD” Hello… we were expecting MIL AND FIL to sleep in the master bedroom. You are here for a short stay. Can you please just be understanding, stop giving and adding trouble and just make do with what we have ? Can you not see we are staying in a smaller space now, can you not see we already sacrifices and make other sleeping arrangment for ourself in our brand new home just for your visit?? Can you not wait till the night when my hubs,  your bro comes home frm work to put in your special and additional request? I was pissed.  I am already trying not to be calculative and try not to mind sparing out my room and bed for your parents, and now you are telling me your dad, my FIL is going to take over my super king sized bed and my masterbedroom all by himself???!! My displease started to mound.

Trying to be a good host, I brought MIL for a tour the condo unit. Then she started saying this to me behind her mum’s back. “The two old folks look happy here, Di che and me thinks that next time when we need to go holiday, we can dump them here. I don’t mind driving them up from KL to DUMP there here for a week or two when we go holiday, so you can take care of them. I WILL PAY YOU MONEY, just like hotel”  I am boiling inside after she said this but still put on a polite smile on my first. But my displease is yet again induced.

She then make all sorts of arrangement. She said she won’t be coming the next day. She came with the husband. The husband is Penangite. Has his own family here. So she has an 3 vacant bedrooms apartment to stay at the other part of the island. She didn’t want to bring her parents to stay there with the excuse that PIL staying at our house, they can have more time to spent with the children. She had plan that on the 24/12, she would spent time with the husband’s family but only join us for dinner. She requested me to bring the mum to the market in the morning on the 24/12. She requested this and that. The MIL also another… I don’t know why she has to make a trip to Giant. ( I didn’t bring her of course. She was hinting to the kids to bring her there)

During dinner, I started showing some displease on my face. I broke down and cried on two nights already. Hub agreed to give me time off on Xmas day, as he would be having off days and he can look after his parents.

As promised, I had my day off on xmas day. I was feeling much better until a text cam in from big fat SIL lecturing me. I didn’t read the messages. but I saw a few words when it pops up as notification and I deleted it right away. but it already ruined my mood without reading the whole messages. I hate her bossiness. She is so good at pointing fingers at others, but never reflects on her own. She too has been rude, she too didn’t show respect to her parents especially yelling and scoling her mum. She has no rights to lecture and critisize me. She absolutely has no right to say I am wrong to show my displease eventhough she is 16 years older than me.

What ruined my day on xmas day that almost push me to the verge of nervous breakdown was FIL poop on my bed!!!

I am not happy. I don’t know if I am not happy with the PIL or SIL. I guess I am not happy with SIL. she is the one who suggested or even plan for the PIL visits. We cannot say no.  PIL are afterall my hub’s parents, but I am angry with SIL’s arrangment, I am angry with her selfiness, i am angry with her not understanding. Because of her, i am showing displease to the old folks and my husband.

I can’t wait for them to go home.

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Blog Giveaway : Wikki Stix Numbers and Counting Set

September 13, 2012

I will be giving away a set of Wikki Stix Numbers and Counting Set

What is Wikki Stix

Wikki Stix are made of hand-knitting yarn enhanced with a microcrystalline food-grade, non-toxic wax, the kind used in bubble gum and lipstick. They do not contain latex, gluten, nor peanut or other nut oils or byproducts which makes them an ideal creative activity toy for children with allergies.

Wikki Stix do not break or tear apart, but cut easily with scissors. Wikki Stix conform to all U.S. Consumer Safety Standards including ASTM D-4236 and F-963, as well as the European Standard BS5665/EN71.

Wikki Stix appeal equally to boys and girls, and span a wide range of ages, from 3 to 103! They are perfect for quiet, independent play, or interaction with others. They help enhance learning through hands-on kinesthetic involvement. They stimulate the imagination and creativity in everyone! And.. there is no right or wrong way to play!
Wikki Stix is MADE IN USA

This set contains 36 wikki stix, five worksheets with two numbers on each, plus free play area. sixth worksheet emphasizes counting.

How to enter the giveaway

Blog:

1) Blog about Wikki Stix MY with the keyword Wikki Stix Malaysia or Wikki Stix In Malaysia and link it back to http://wikkistixmy.com . At the same time mention our Facebook Fan Page Wikki Stix MY and link to http://www.facebook.com/wikkistixmalaysia

2) Minimum word counts for your blog post is 100 words

3) Your post can be written in Chinese, BM or English

4) After you have done so. Post your blog post link at the comment page of this post . This will entitled you to one vote. If you have more than one blog, you can submit more than one entry

5) The post you have written for this giveaway shall remain permanent as long as your blog is active.

Facebook

1) “Like” our facebook fan page http://www.facebook.com/wikkistixmalaysia

2) Share out Wikki Stix MY facebook fanpage in your own wall/timeline , group and page

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Terms and Conditions

(Without fulfilling this, any participants will automatically disqualified
and no prior notice will be given)

1) This giveaway is opened to bloggers and facebookers residing in Malaysia only

2) You can participate in both blog and facebook campaign, that will give you a higher chance to win

3) One winner will receive 1 set of Wikki Stix Numbers and Counting Set.

4) Winner will be chosen at random via random.org

5)Please provide a valid email address so you can be contacted if you win

6)You will need to reply to the winning email within 48 hours or another winner will be selected

7) This giveaway ends on Sunday , 30th September 2012


Site Down Again

September 13, 2007

Can you believe this???  My site is down again without any warning. Bugger….what’s is wrong with this web host!!!  I can’t finish my task, and I have post not being approved by advertiser… if they cannot access my site… I’m going to loose money again. Damn…  Really have to change host before my term with him expired.

And my host reply this :

The server is suspected to get attacked and it’s now suspending account one by one to investigate the incident.
Your website will be unsuspended very soon as the investigation will take maximum a few hours.

I really feel like crying… why is this happening to me again. Damn…. another day loosing my money. Don’t know how long it takes for the site to be up. 😦

HELPLESS… LOST…..


I Still Feel Damn Blardy Pissed

April 27, 2007

Yes…that’s how I’m feeling now….. how come it take so long for the support to get back to me… at least give me access to my site. I have been sitting in front of the PC , refreshing the screen , hoping to see some lights and solution , but there is NOTHING … NOTHING…. makes me want to curse and curse …. and I’m so tension now sitting in front of the pc and can’t do much.

I don’t and never expect this to happen by hosting my site on my own domain…..I’m not ready for this and it really makes me furious with the speed of support. ERGGHHHG… really in a killer mood.


Gossip & Bitching Post

April 27, 2007

I got to know a mummy from a parenting group years ago when JS was still a baby. This girlfriend of mine left her husband shortly after the birth of her 2nd daughter which was born the same year as WH.  The reason why she left her husband is because she thinks her husband couldn’t provide her with materialistic goods. Her husband is a site supervisor, has a car and a double storey link house, though the money that he brought home each month is about 3k, but this girl friend of mine is not satisfy with that, that’s why she left.

We seldom keep in touch, as hubby thinks she can be a bad influence to me. But I know over the past 2 1/2 years , each time we do catch up through MSN, she’s with different man.  She change her partner so often and she even brag that she double or multi dated and sleep with different men at the same time.  One of her bf sponsored her for a booby job.

Few days ago, she MSN me again. This time she is with another man and they living in together and they have only been together for 6 months ( Which mean I haven’t chatted with her for more than 6 months liao) . This one obviously is a old man (40 ++ ) my friend is 29 this year , a divorcee with a 10 year old son.  Anyhow her two girls age 5 and 3 , she left them under the care of her MIL in Ipoh while she works in KL.

She has been complaining to me that how difficult her elder girl is and how slow she’s catching up in school and has behaviour problem. In my heart I was thinking “of course la…no parental love and care , in a broken family, how not to have behaviour problem. My friend kept asking me on JS progress and development, how much she can read, spell , count and she said her girl already can spell ONE to TEN and those with “TEEN” behind also can spell…blablabla. If her daughter is so good , can spell and read, why is she still worried? Kiasu parents setting so high expectation on her kids but never care of how the kids feel. 

I still remember years ago, she would keep asking me what brand of formula I used, what’s JS’s milestone and development, what brand of diaper, milk bottle I used . And now.. it’s what school etc etc. She said she wants to sent her girl for private tuition and extra class… and has been asking me about what is good what’s not, she said she might want to move her girl back to PJ with her, but I really doubt she will have the time for her girl when she’s so busy with her man. Actually very sickening to befriend with kiasu mother like that. I also remembered she used to ask how much I earned and hubby earns , she always envy others whose husband earns alot. She thinks money is all and only buy the most expensive for her kids. But c’mon la…. kids dont really know how to appreciate that….. children need loves , nurture and to be brought up in a nice cosy loving family.

By the way , she’s still legally married to her husband, coz her husband refuse to sign the paper and she on and off kept in touch with him and she told me the husband is not doing so good. (maybe as in not earning enough $$$$ to her standard).  And I just don’t know how she can still keep in touch with her so call in-laws and ask her MIL to take care of her kids, when she’s out having fun, sleeping around with different man, a woman who does not fulfill her role as a wife and mother. Doesn’t she feel ashame when facing the in-laws???


@Week 12

April 27, 2007

I’m suppose to update this a week earlier. But I was a little lazy and caught up with paid posts. Now I don’t even have access to the blog to do this. I’m recording it down here , so later I can transfer to Montessorimum.com

OK..I’m in week 12 of pregnancy now. Toward the end of the first trimester already. I went for my 2nd prenatal check last Saturday night. I’ve put on 2kg in a month but blood pressure and other thing normal. 😀

Got my blood test result on that visit too. Everything ok, except haemoglobin count a little low. Almost anaemic , that explain why I feel so tired most time and why sometimes I feel faint and almost blackout after sitting or squatting down for a just a short while.

Did an ultrasound scan too. This time we can clearly see baby and the baby’s heartbeat. Growth normal. Baby has been very active. We saw baby moving around in the womb. The kids was that too. In fact baby was bouncing around in the womb and JS said “doink like a grasshopper”. 🙂

I’ve actually felt baby’s movement at week 11, but never gave much thought to it because it wasn’t frequent. Only at certain angle that I’m lying down I felt it. It’s like muscle twist or a little butterfly flap. But this week onwards, I can feel it more. The movement is stronger , it’s always on the left side of my lower abdomen and baby is extremely active in the evening and at night.

I have special cravings now like fruit rojak and also durian. I’m not a fan of durian…but now when I smell durian smell I couldnt resist of eating it. 🙂

I think my bump is slowly showing too. Slowly but surely. Last week @week 11, I still feel fat, in fact for a while I forgotten that I’m pregnant. (Unlike my previous pregnancies, I wasn’t that obssese with the weekly growth). Some of my cloths are tight already. But this is such an embarrasing stage that I’m too early for maternity clothings and the normal clothings won’t fit comfortably.  So have to wear some plus size hand me down tops from SIL. Not very flattering though. Now I’m in dillema on what to wear for my trip…. and SIL said…bring a nice baju…we going to dine at an expensive restaurant…..HHHmmm…what am I going to wear.


I Still Have Reader Here!

April 27, 2007

Since I’m not able to access Montessorimum.com and am currently in the MOOD TO KILL , so I just rant rant rant here in my old abandone blog. I never thought that anyone will visit me here again but surprise surprise….some of my reader still found their way back here after my site hosted in my own domain is down and they get to read the latest update here.

These are really my loyal “fan-si” . 🙂 Bright up my day a little. Thanks hor …to Tracy & Shireen for dropping by.