The Visiting ILs

December 26, 2014

I had the lousiest Xmas in my whole life. Been feeling extremely down, lousy and depress for the past three days. The days since the ILs visiting.

We have just moved in to this new condo unit on the 28/11. Right after a week of moving in, we went back to KL to for 11 days to settle some matter left in the city. By the time we came back to Penang, it was just a week before Christmas. Come to thing of it, we were barely settled in our new place before the ILs visit. Though I have tidied the house and put everything in place and it does feel like very much homely, but the realistic is we are not quite settled. But the big fat SIL suggested to bring PIL over to spend Xmas here. She had made this plan even before we moved in and when we were back in KL for that 11 days, she made a trip to buy the waterproof protector sheet for my king size master bed so that FIL can sleep in MY room, MY bed. Do I have a say? Can I turn them down and say don’t come? No… blardy hell, I have no say in this household.  I am a no body and hub is a SUPER filial son. ( Is it good or is it bad.  I am unwilling.. on top of not having a say, I don’t want to set bad examples for the kids. I don’t want to plant bad karma that when I am old, my kids will ill treat me or ignore me)

What was our arrangement for their arrival?  Now, we have downsized our home from a double storey terrace house of 2000 over sqft with 4+1 rooms , 4 bathrooms to a 1,200 over sqft 3 rooms, 2 baths condo unit. Space is reduced by half, rooms are smaller in size by half. We used to have a guest rooms just for the PIL in our old house. Well, before we shifted in and when we were doing up the house, we have always prepared to have guests over to stay. We have talked over about it. Hub and me had agreed that shall HIS parents come over, then we will let THEM (both FIL and MIL) to have the masterbedroom, where we will be flexible to just have makeshift bed anywhere or just bunk in with the kids. I was quite ok with this arrangement. We had that in mind… we are prepared…

To be frank, I have never been very closed with the ILs. I respect them, I can talk nicely to them, I treat them well with good manners and courtesy but very often,  I wish they can just leave me alone.  Sometimes I have a lot of relunctance in me, eventhough at surface I am showing them my smiley face.

My FIL health conditions is deterioting daily. He has alzheimer’s , he is weak, barely can walk. He has very strong body odor and he doesn’t bathe. Refuses to bathe and he has problem control his bowel movement, he has weird habits, he gets shock and scared easily, he is extremely paranoid with the kids safety. The wife and daughters find him dirty. The wife, my MIL though look after him, but with complains and have separate pails to wash his belongings. He has his own room and bed at home. He doesn’t share a room with MIL.  Now, here I am having to let him sleep in MY room, MY bed. I keep thinking, why me? Will both of his daughters willing to give up their bed for him? I doubt so.

Fast forward to their arrival on 23/12.  I was informed of the time they left KL. I was informed by hub their arrival time. I was informed by hub when they were near Ipoh. I was prepared, though not very please but I know I shall be welcoming and showing my respect. But my displease were further induced by the big fat SIL. She was so annoying. I don’t know how many times she has to call me to inform me on every of her location after they reached Ipoh. As if someone important is coming to my place, as though some royalties are coming and I have to roll out the red carpet. I was already waiting, I was prepared. Why can’t they just come straight to the place, registered with the guard and I would and definitely be there for them already. Does she has to inform me on such a frequent basis? Annoying to the max!!!  Hub was working that day, it had been raining for days and you know what, the hub wants me to go pack lunch for them for a particular place, particular stall just for them. I dragged the four out with me in rain to tarpau.

The moment she arrived, she started giving orders and commands and bossing people around. She can’t even talk nicely to her own mother and husband!!! Extremely RUDE and she has always been like this since the day I got to know hub but it is getting worst.

With all the luggages, everyone were up at the condo unit. Before everyone can sit down nicely and settled in, she commanded and questioned me, “WHERE IS THE EXTRA MATTRESS FOR MUM? SHE DOESN”T SLEEP WITH DAD” Hello… we were expecting MIL AND FIL to sleep in the master bedroom. You are here for a short stay. Can you please just be understanding, stop giving and adding trouble and just make do with what we have ? Can you not see we are staying in a smaller space now, can you not see we already sacrifices and make other sleeping arrangment for ourself in our brand new home just for your visit?? Can you not wait till the night when my hubs,  your bro comes home frm work to put in your special and additional request? I was pissed.  I am already trying not to be calculative and try not to mind sparing out my room and bed for your parents, and now you are telling me your dad, my FIL is going to take over my super king sized bed and my masterbedroom all by himself???!! My displease started to mound.

Trying to be a good host, I brought MIL for a tour the condo unit. Then she started saying this to me behind her mum’s back. “The two old folks look happy here, Di che and me thinks that next time when we need to go holiday, we can dump them here. I don’t mind driving them up from KL to DUMP there here for a week or two when we go holiday, so you can take care of them. I WILL PAY YOU MONEY, just like hotel”  I am boiling inside after she said this but still put on a polite smile on my first. But my displease is yet again induced.

She then make all sorts of arrangement. She said she won’t be coming the next day. She came with the husband. The husband is Penangite. Has his own family here. So she has an 3 vacant bedrooms apartment to stay at the other part of the island. She didn’t want to bring her parents to stay there with the excuse that PIL staying at our house, they can have more time to spent with the children. She had plan that on the 24/12, she would spent time with the husband’s family but only join us for dinner. She requested me to bring the mum to the market in the morning on the 24/12. She requested this and that. The MIL also another… I don’t know why she has to make a trip to Giant. ( I didn’t bring her of course. She was hinting to the kids to bring her there)

During dinner, I started showing some displease on my face. I broke down and cried on two nights already. Hub agreed to give me time off on Xmas day, as he would be having off days and he can look after his parents.

As promised, I had my day off on xmas day. I was feeling much better until a text cam in from big fat SIL lecturing me. I didn’t read the messages. but I saw a few words when it pops up as notification and I deleted it right away. but it already ruined my mood without reading the whole messages. I hate her bossiness. She is so good at pointing fingers at others, but never reflects on her own. She too has been rude, she too didn’t show respect to her parents especially yelling and scoling her mum. She has no rights to lecture and critisize me. She absolutely has no right to say I am wrong to show my displease eventhough she is 16 years older than me.

What ruined my day on xmas day that almost push me to the verge of nervous breakdown was FIL poop on my bed!!!

I am not happy. I don’t know if I am not happy with the PIL or SIL. I guess I am not happy with SIL. she is the one who suggested or even plan for the PIL visits. We cannot say no.  PIL are afterall my hub’s parents, but I am angry with SIL’s arrangment, I am angry with her selfiness, i am angry with her not understanding. Because of her, i am showing displease to the old folks and my husband.

I can’t wait for them to go home.


Blog Giveaway : Wikki Stix Numbers and Counting Set

September 13, 2012

I will be giving away a set of Wikki Stix Numbers and Counting Set

What is Wikki Stix

Wikki Stix are made of hand-knitting yarn enhanced with a microcrystalline food-grade, non-toxic wax, the kind used in bubble gum and lipstick. They do not contain latex, gluten, nor peanut or other nut oils or byproducts which makes them an ideal creative activity toy for children with allergies.

Wikki Stix do not break or tear apart, but cut easily with scissors. Wikki Stix conform to all U.S. Consumer Safety Standards including ASTM D-4236 and F-963, as well as the European Standard BS5665/EN71.

Wikki Stix appeal equally to boys and girls, and span a wide range of ages, from 3 to 103! They are perfect for quiet, independent play, or interaction with others. They help enhance learning through hands-on kinesthetic involvement. They stimulate the imagination and creativity in everyone! And.. there is no right or wrong way to play!
Wikki Stix is MADE IN USA

This set contains 36 wikki stix, five worksheets with two numbers on each, plus free play area. sixth worksheet emphasizes counting.

How to enter the giveaway

Blog:

1) Blog about Wikki Stix MY with the keyword Wikki Stix Malaysia or Wikki Stix In Malaysia and link it back to http://wikkistixmy.com . At the same time mention our Facebook Fan Page Wikki Stix MY and link to http://www.facebook.com/wikkistixmalaysia

2) Minimum word counts for your blog post is 100 words

3) Your post can be written in Chinese, BM or English

4) After you have done so. Post your blog post link at the comment page of this post . This will entitled you to one vote. If you have more than one blog, you can submit more than one entry

5) The post you have written for this giveaway shall remain permanent as long as your blog is active.

Facebook

1) “Like” our facebook fan page http://www.facebook.com/wikkistixmalaysia

2) Share out Wikki Stix MY facebook fanpage in your own wall/timeline , group and page

3) Leave your facebook ID in this comment

4) Each like and share entitled you to one vote

Terms and Conditions

(Without fulfilling this, any participants will automatically disqualified
and no prior notice will be given)

1) This giveaway is opened to bloggers and facebookers residing in Malaysia only

2) You can participate in both blog and facebook campaign, that will give you a higher chance to win

3) One winner will receive 1 set of Wikki Stix Numbers and Counting Set.

4) Winner will be chosen at random via random.org

5)Please provide a valid email address so you can be contacted if you win

6)You will need to reply to the winning email within 48 hours or another winner will be selected

7) This giveaway ends on Sunday , 30th September 2012


Where To Buy Wikki Stix In Malaysia

August 19, 2012

Yeah! Wikki Stix has finally landed in Malaysia. We are proud to announce that you can now buy Wikki stix from montessorimum.

Our shopping cart is not quite ready yet, but you can start bookmark our site http://www.wikkistixmalaysia.com

And also don’t forget to visit our fan page – Wikki Stix MY in Facebook. We have listed out the product we currently have in hand, and you can do a manual order by dropping me a mail, leaving your comments in our fan page or pm me in my fb.

Don’t miss the deal, we are currently having a 15% off in conjunction with our launch/Hari Raya/School holiday. Offer valida until 26/8/2012

What is Wikki Stix?

More Fun than a Toy…More Creative than a Craft!
The Really Cool Tool for Teaching School!

What are Wikki Stix made of?
Wikki Stix are made of hand-knitting yarn enhanced with a microcrystalline food-grade, non-toxic wax, the kind used in bubble gum and lipstick. They do not contain latex, gluten, nor peanut or other nut oils or byproducts which makes them an ideal creative activity toy for children with allergies.

How do they work?
Simply stated…they stick! No glue, no paste, no mess. Just press them down with light fingertip pressure and they will adhere to almost any smooth surface. They are also easy to peel up and reposition so “mistakes” virtually disappear, which helps build self-confidence. There is no preparation, no clean-up, no mess. Press ‘em down, peel ‘em off… it’s that simple!

A few more details
Wikki Stix do not break or tear apart, but cut easily with scissors. Wikki Stix conform to all U.S. Consumer Safety Standards including ASTM D-4236 and F-963, as well as the European Standard BS5665/EN71.

A few more details
Wikki Stix appeal equally to boys and girls, and span a wide range of ages, from 3 to 103! They are perfect for quiet, independent play, or interaction with others. They help enhance learning through hands-on kinesthetic involvement. They stimulate the imagination and creativity in everyone! And.. there is no right or wrong way to play!

Plus!
Wikki Stix are proudly Made in the USA!


Wikki Stix In Malaysia

August 18, 2012

We are proud to announce that Wikki Stix is now available in Malaysia.

“Like” us in facebook.

https://www.facebook.com/WikkiStixMalaysia

Please visit us at http://www.wikkistixmalaysia.com
Hope you will find tone of fun with wikki stix


Blues

March 7, 2011

Once in a while I have blues out of no reason. Everything just seems not right , feeling lost, unworthy and inferior.

It is going to be the 7th year since I quit my job to be a SAHM. When I quit my job, I told myself it is only going to be temporary and once the kids are old enough, I will return to work force. 7th years had gone by and I am still stuck at home.

I don’t know what I have accomplished. I don’t know what I am good at. I have tried to pick up some hobbies and interests, but everything that I dabble my hands on, I never seems to excel in it. It is always half bucket water that leads me to no where. I don’t get the sense of satisfaction. I see so many SAHM or even working mothers who are so talented. They can sew, knit, design, bake, cook, decorate cakes, beading and even photography that can be turned into something profitable and hence giving them a sense of self worth, but I don’t have these skills.  I don’t have the creativity in craft either in bento-ing or felt craft that can make me feels good. I don’t write well, I am penniless to the extend that I can shop as I like nor go for a all girls travel. I don’t have a career and I don’t have a fix income/saving.  I am not business minded to do sales or multilevel marketing. I see friends having soaring online business and I am no body with nothing.  I really don’t know what I can do.

Supposedly to be a SAHM, I should manage the home well but I don’t think I have done a good job as a wife. I don’t think I have met my husband expectation in cooking as well as the tidiness of the house. I am always exhausted to be attentive to his need.

Supposedly to be a SAHM, I shall have more time to spend with the children, but I don’t think I have done enough for them compare to many homeschool mothers. They are really so thoughtful in planning their syllabus and day activities. All I am doing for my children is only meeting their very basic needs and nothing else, nothing more.

So I am neither here nor there.

I don’t know if holding a job with a fixed salary will give me back some self worth but what kind of job will give me the flexibility  so that my children’s welfare is not jeopardize? A 9 – 5 job is definitely out, so as MLM or being a insurance agent. ( I don’t like hard selling). I don’t know what is best for me , for the family and the children. Now that the maid is leaving, I can forsee that I will have more this kind of blues in future to be stuck at home.


Site Down Again

September 13, 2007

Can you believe this???  My site is down again without any warning. Bugger….what’s is wrong with this web host!!!  I can’t finish my task, and I have post not being approved by advertiser… if they cannot access my site… I’m going to loose money again. Damn…  Really have to change host before my term with him expired.

And my host reply this :

The server is suspected to get attacked and it’s now suspending account one by one to investigate the incident.
Your website will be unsuspended very soon as the investigation will take maximum a few hours.

I really feel like crying… why is this happening to me again. Damn…. another day loosing my money. Don’t know how long it takes for the site to be up.😦

HELPLESS… LOST…..


I Still Feel Damn Blardy Pissed

April 27, 2007

Yes…that’s how I’m feeling now….. how come it take so long for the support to get back to me… at least give me access to my site. I have been sitting in front of the PC , refreshing the screen , hoping to see some lights and solution , but there is NOTHING … NOTHING…. makes me want to curse and curse …. and I’m so tension now sitting in front of the pc and can’t do much.

I don’t and never expect this to happen by hosting my site on my own domain…..I’m not ready for this and it really makes me furious with the speed of support. ERGGHHHG… really in a killer mood.